On My Own Read Free Page B

until next week? Then I even started to wonder if Liz might simply have a really devastating case of PMS!
    But fortunately, by the time I was halfway to the bookstore, I began to actually pray about this whole situation. First I asked God why He'd put me in a room with someone like Liz Banks. Then I asked Him if I should seek to change rooms. Finally, I decided to earnestly pray for Liz, and I asked God to lead me in what I was supposed to do next. Even now I'm not totally sure what's best. I mean, I've known some difficult people in the last couple years, but I'm not sure that I've ever met anyone who came across quite as cold and hard as Liz. And this is only the first day! On the other hand, it might just be her natural defenses popping up. I suppose she could actually be feeling somewhat insecure right now. And who knows, there could be a really soft heart underneath that tough facade.
    Right now, I'm in the coffee shop (the one Josh recommended) writing all this down in my diary. I think it's helping me to sort out my thoughts.
    DEAR GOD, PLEASE SHOW ME WHAT TO DO ABOUT LIZ. I KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND WANT ME TO LOVE HER TOO, BUT I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE ONE TOUGH CHALLENGE. SHE COMES ACROSS AS PRETTY UNLOVABLE. PLEASE HELP ME. I KNOW YOU CAN LOVE HER THROUGH ME. JUST LET ME BE YOUR VESSEL. THANK YOU. AMEN.
    Saturday, September 7 (Darkness meets light) yesterday was filled with a lot of freshman orientation activities, but it's been a pretty lonely day today. To be honest, I think I'm slightly homesick. I suppose it'll get better next week when classes actually start. I plan to go to church tomorrow (the one Josh told me about), and hopefully I'll make some friends. Despite what Liz says, I happen to think friends ARE a good thing. And I'm not even sure you can have too many.
    Speaking of Liz, I had to duck out tonight because her music was getting to me. It's so dark and hopeless and depressing–all these lyrics about pain and lost love and futility. And even though she doesn't play it all that loud, the bleakness started wearing on me. Anyway, I'm at the library right now and just went on-line hoping to find some encouraging bits of e-mail from friends or family–but there's nothing! All I had in my in box was a couple pieces of smutty spam and an ad from a credit agency. I suppose everyone else is too busy to write to me right now. I imagine them all having a goodtime, getting together with friends, sharing a few laughs. And I must admit to having to fight down some real waves of jealousy.
    Okay, I know I'm right where God wants me. But why does it feel so dark and lonely here? Why did I land such a miserable roommate? And what am I supposed to do about it?
    Suddenly this song is hitting me–“This Little Light of Mine”–and I know it's kind of juvenile, but it's making me smile. I remember how we'd sing it in Spanish with the little kids down in Mexico, holding our fingers up like little torches and repeating over and over how we were going to let it shine everywhere.
    So I guess that'll be my theme song for right now. Pretty mature for a college coed, eh? But on the other hand, I think it's just what I need. Anyway, I'm heading back to the dorm, and I'll be singing that song all the way there. Then I may put on a good CD of my own–quietly, of course. I don't want to irritate my roomie. Not too much anyway.
Sunday, September 8
    I couldn't believe Pastor Obertti's Sermon today. It was about being a light in the darkness! It's as if God wanted to confirm that my little song was truly from Him last night and that I really Am right where He wants me to be. Even though my roommate seems to be pretty dark, I can still be a light to her. God wants me to be Hislight, and I'm not to hide under anything. I feel so encouraged. Well, mostly anyway.
    Unfortunately, I feel a little discouraged to learn that, due to conflicts at the church, the college fellowship group has changed their meeting time from Wednesday nights to