Off to Be the Wizard Read Free Page B

himself standing in the corner, holding his smartphone, which Martin was also holding. Martin was looking at himself. Not a picture. Not a reflection. He was seeing him.
    He’d expected himself to be better looking.
    They stared at each other for a moment. Finally, time-traveler Martin spoke. “I said, you should try going back in time, instead of forward.”
    Original Martin was too busy freaking out to listen, and didn’t catch what Future Martin said.
    “What?” Martin asked, snapping out of it.
    Future Martin shook his head. “Great, now I’m confused.”
    “ You’re confused?!”
    Future Martin looked irritated. He muttered something under his breath as he tapped at the smartphone in his hand. He looked up once more, made eye contact with Original Martin, and disappeared.
    Martin walked over to the spot where his double had stood. No scorch marks or anything. Martin didn’t know what he expected would happen to the area someone time traveled into, then away from in quick succession, but he knew he expected more than nothing.
    Martin looked at his phone and saw the file’s time field, ticking off the seconds. He quickly subtracted about thirty seconds from the time and hit enter.
    The world around him did a fairly fast dissolve between now and the dusty memory that was the world half a minute ago. He saw Past Martin standing in the middle of the room, absorbed in his phone screen, looking disappointed.
    Past Martin exhaled and said, “It’s probably just as well.”
    Martin felt sorry for Past Martin. I looked so sad, he thought.
    “Try going back in time instead of forward,” Martin suggested helpfully.
    Past Martin was badly startled. He looked at Martin with genuine panic in his eyes, which quickly cycled through incredulity, amazement, and, to Martin’s lasting dismay, disappointment.
    Great, Martin thought. I’m dumpy looking, and easy to read.
    Martin decided to try again. “I said, you should try going back in time, instead of forward.”
    Past Martin opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. Finally, he managed to ask “What?”
    Martin was not impressed with himself. “Great,” he said, “now I’m confused.”
    Past Martin looked genuinely affronted. “ You’re confused?!”
    Martin gave up. “Fantastic,” he muttered as he reset the time. “I’m the first man in history to meet himself, and I learn that I’m an ugly idiot.”
    Martin hit enter, and watched his former self disappear as he returned to the moment after he left.
    That didn’t go well, Martin thought. Upon reflection, he should have expected it. First meetings are always awkward, even if you’re meeting yourself. Next time should go smoother. I’ll have a better idea how to behave, and how to react.
    Martin heard a quiet ahem to his right. He looked, and was not surprised to see himself standing there, smiling at him.
    “I’m you, an hour from now,” he said. “Wanna play some heads-up poker?”

Chapter 4.

    The next morning Martin woke up with a hangover. He hadn’t drunk much while playing poker with himself. Just a few beers.
    The first round, when he was Past Martin, he lost badly. Then he went back in time and played through it all again as Future Martin. To be honest, he wasn’t that into the second round at first and had mainly gone back and offered to play out of a sense of obligation. Then he started winning, because he could remember some of the hands Past Martin had. Any game is more enjoyable when you’re winning, although in the end he broke even. He shuffled off to bed, as tired as he’d ever been in his life, but with his brain firing at full steam. He thought about what would have happened if he’d won the first round of poker, then come back and won again. Was that possible, and if so, where would the winnings come from? Could he create infinite wealth by losing at poker against himself? Of course, he could create infinite wealth anyway, by simply moving a decimal point in the file.
    He