Off Side Read Free

did was to notify the police. We asked them to be very discreet, because of the possible knock-on effect that something like this could have on a club with more than a hundred thousand members and a social expectation involving millions. The police moved behind the scenes, and they told us that it was worth taking this letter seriously. They’d had word from their informants that something was afoot. The police are continuing their inquiries, but they’re having to move very carefully. The club has decided that you should also be brought onto the case, in parallel with the police. You’ll be able to move less conspicuously than the police.’
    ‘Your club’s very much in the news. You’ve got a hundred journalists at the gates every day waiting for scraps of news. How are you going to hide the fact that I’m involved?’
    ‘I’m glad you asked that.’
    ‘I’m glad too, and I’m glad that you’re glad.’
    Something approaching a melancholic smile blurred the seriousness on the face of this fastidious messenger.
    ‘We’ll have to collaborate very closely. We could end up being friends.’
    If he’d had anything in his mouth, Carvalho would have choked on it. But he had nothing, so he choked on nothing. He fell silent and looked bemused.
    ‘I’ll be acting as your go-between. It wouldn’t do for the journalists to see you having a direct relationship with the club’s board. We’ll need to find some kind of pretext for you to be movingaround the club.’
    ‘Are you a footballing PR man by vocation?’
    ‘If you’re going to use the word “vocation” in its proper meaning, you should only apply it to jobs where God is involved. Priests, for example. Or monks. The gods send out a call, and the person in question feels that he has a vocation. Are you a private detective by vocation?’
    ‘I’ll need some kind of card or document, something to authorize me to move around on the club’s premises.’
    ‘Are you interested in psychology?’
    ‘I find all branches of human knowledge interesting. Take grammar, for example …’
    ‘Do you think you can pass for a psychologist?’
    ‘Absolutely the best profession for passing yourself off as something.’
    He tossed an envelope onto the desk and waited while Carvalho opened it, took out a sheet of the club’s headed notepaper and read what was on it.
    ‘So I’m now authorized to conduct a study on “The Application of Group Psychology in Sporting Organizations”.’
    ‘That piece of paper will enable you to talk to anyone connected with our club without raising suspicion.’
    This elegant man seemed to take pleasure from leaving things on Carvalho’s desk, and this time it was a visiting card which he produced from a very expensive leather wallet like a priest taking the host from the chalice. ‘Alfons Camps O’Shea, Public Relations’. Carvalho read the card, and then took another look at its bearer. There was a pleasing correlation between the name and the physical appearance of this young man who was in the process of rearranging his legs and regaining the vertical. He was evidently about to leave.
    ‘Have a think about it. We know your rates, and we have no problems from that point of view.’
    ‘Who says you know my rates? I don’t have fixed rates. Howabout you pay me what you pay your centre forward?’
    ‘Are you a centre forward?’
    ‘As good as. I’m the “Golden Boot” of my profession.’
    Camps O’Shea took in the entire contents of the office with one glance, which he then transferred to Carvalho as if to say that he had completed his inventory.
    ‘It doesn’t look that way.’
    ‘Don’t you worry about that. The rest of the world doesn’t need to know. We’ll keep it between you and me. I’ll draw up a pro forma and a plan of action.’
    The man buttoned his alpaca jacket and adjusted it around his anatomy with the same suaveness that characterized his discourse and probably his entire life. He had an air of luxury