Not Another Bad Date Read Free

friends, while a third friend, Maddie, had just announced that she was getting married in the spring. Maddie, who thought all men were potential serial killers. Maddie, who was so paranoid she carried an arsenal of pepper spray, brass knuckles, and stun guns, had found someone to love her. Crazy Maddie had found someone who wanted to spend his life with her, and Adele couldn’t find someone who wanted a relationship past midnight.
    The soap slipped out of her hands as she worked up a good lather. She looked up into the mirror and washed her face with her fingertips. It was really depressing. A couple of years ago, the four friends had all been single and meeting for lunch and going on vacations to the Bahamas together. They were all writers and shared a lot in common. Then one by one they’d all gotten married, or were getting married, and Adele was the only one left single and alone. She could no longer pick up the telephone anytime she felt like it and discuss book plots, man problems, or the latest episode of CSI. After years of having an active social life, she now felt alone and lonely. She felt cut off and sorry for herself. She hated feeling sorry for herself almost as much as she hated all the time she spent wondering what was wrong with her.
    She reached for a washcloth, ran it under the warm water, and rinsed the soap from her face. She’d been in love twice. The last time had been three years ago. His name had been Dwayne Larkin and he’d been tall, blond, and very hot. He hadn’t been perfect, but she’d overlooked his annoying habit of smelling the armpits of his shirts and playing air guitar on the zipper of his jeans. Despite his faults, they’d shared some things in common. They both loved old science-fiction movies, being lazy on a Saturday afternoon, and they knew what it was like to lose a parent at a young age. Dwayne had been nice and funny, and she thought she just might want to spend the rest of her life as Mrs. Larkin. She’d even mentally started to pick out a china pattern. Right up until the day three years ago that he’d stood in her kitchen and called her a fat ass. One second he’d been telling her about his day at work, then in the next, he just stopped in midsentence, turned his head to one side like some sort of android, and said, “You’re a fat ass.”
    She’d been so stunned, she’d asked him what he’d just said. Unfortunately, he repeated it.
    “Adele, you have a big fat ass.” He’d set down his beer and spread his hands really far apart. “About three ax handles.”
    Out of all the hurtful things he could have said to her, that was the most hurtful. He could have called her stupid or ugly, and it would not have wounded her so deeply. Not only because it was her biggest fear, but because he’d known how deeply it would hurt her. He’d known she’d inherited her grandmother Sally’s bubble butt and that she jogged five miles a day, every damn day, to keep it from taking over the lower half of her body. Before that night, he’d always said he loved the way her bottom fit in his hands. Apparently he was a liar. Worse, he was a mean liar.
    Adele had kicked him out of her life, but for some reason, Dwayne just wouldn’t go completely. Every month or so she’d open her front door and find random stuff on her porch. One sock, a scrubby, or a headless Darth Vader, all the things she’d forgotten and left at Dwayne’s house after the breakup.
    She turned off the water and dried her face. Her friends thought she should have Dwayne arrested or hire someone to beat him up. Yeah, he was a bit of a stalker, she thought as she moved to her bedroom, but she wasn’t frightened or creeped out by Dwayne.
    A pile of scrunchies sat on her oak dresser and she pulled her long, curly hair into a thick ponytail. If anything, she was more annoyed with Dwayne than scared, and wished he’d just move on. It hadn’t been easy, but she’d moved on.
    She changed into a plain white T-shirt