No Regrets Read Free

time,” she said, shaking her head. She did look good, thank God. Cute dress, nice hair. She must have come with someone she cared about—
    Pain, pukey, plop. I collapsed on the toilet, back at school.

chapter six
    I was wiped out the rest of the day. Almost too tired to think. But one thing for sure, I needed to plan this better or I’d never find out anything or be able to change stuff.
    Every time I thought about the prom bathroom trip, I felt embarrassed. I must have looked so stupid and desperate. Even though I was the only one who saw myself, I felt dumb. But looking at Cherry being all starry about her man—I guess I had just wanted some hope that I would ever feel that way again. But this was too complicated not to be careful with.
    Back at home, I just lay on my bed, not wanting to do homework. But I had to. I was taking a class that counted for college credit, too, and I had to keep up. I don’t know exactly what I’m doing after graduation, but I’ve got to go to college somehow. I don’t have the grades or sports stuff for a lot of scholarships. My counselor said I should take these classes and get as many free credits as I can. She thought I could hack it, so I registered for one each semester. I’m scared of a lot of debt, so I don’t want to go anywhere fancy. Probably start with community college.
    Anyway, I’m not making the mistake my mom made. She could have gone to college—she would have been the first in her family. But she didn’t. Not because, like you’re thinking, she got pregnant, not at first. But she met my dad and got a union job and just never went.
    I made myself do most of my homework. Then we had dinner. My dad was pretty quiet, so whatever he’d had going that day hadn’t worked out the way he wanted. Otherwise he’d be bragging about it and talking about what he was going to buy us.
    I never listen anymore when he talks that way. Not since seventh grade, when he took the little bit of money my mom had saved for Christmas and lost it all on some football team.
    Mom was talking about calling the mortgage company again to ask for a break for this month.
    â€œDon’t pay the heat,” Dad said, shoveling food in his mouth. “They can’t cut it off in the winter. We’ll catch up later.”
    â€œIt’s April,” my mom said. “I think they can shut it off now. I don’t know …”
    I ate fast so I could get away. Not going to college when she could have was a mistake, but as far as I was concerned, Dad was Mom’s worst mistake. Sometimes I feel bad even thinking that, but it’s true. Or maybe being too nice is her problem. Maybe if she just stopped giving Dad money to bet with, he’d quit.
    Once, when things were really bad, Mom said to me, “Layla, you have to plan. I can’t. I always got to take care of this and then that and then the next thing. I don’t have time to plan or think about making a good decision for down the road. But I’m holding things together for you, all right? You can plan, and you can do better than we have.”
    She laughed, but her face still looked sad. So now I needed to come up with a plan—an even better one, too, since now I had this power.

chapter seven
    In my room I sat doodling on the back of my notebook, trying to think things out. I had this scared feeling inside me. Like I thought the power would go away soon and I would have missed my chance to know something for sure.
    I turned off my phone and flipped the notebook open. What was my biggest problem?
    Should I have said yes to Marquis? I wrote.
    I sat back and thought about that. I tried to get out of the groove that question had worn in my mind, but it was hard not to go through all the same thoughts again.
    I remembered, last summer in Chicago, when Dante first said something about Marquis’ money. “Wish my dad had gotten with some Indian chick,” he