Nicolai's Daughters Read Free Page A

could call my teacher now. I know she’d let me do it.” She jumped off her chair, pushed it back out of his reach, wiped her mouth with the napkin again and threw it on the table.
    â€œ Paidi mou , I’ll be busy working. And besides, you like school, your friends. I promise you, next time we’ll go together and then you can meet all your aunts. They’re crazy but really, really nice. You remember when Aunt Christina was here?”
    Alexia nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, choked and coughed. He stroked her back. A single tear ran down her cheek. He wiped it away with his napkin.
    â€œYou shouldn’t talk and eat at the same time,” he said. “You’re just like them.”
    â€œWhy don’t we go this summer then?” she said. “School will be out in a month. We could go together then.”
    â€œI have to go now, Alexia. I’m sorry.”
    â€œMommy would want us to stick together,” she said, her voice breaking. She grabbed her glass and gulped water just like Sara used to whenever she was about to cry and wanted to control the impulse.
    He reached for her. If he could explain that he was having a bad time without Sara, that he felt angry and helpless all the time, that this would be better for both of them at least for a little while, he was sure she’d understand. But then she might think it was her fault and he didn’t want that either. He’d said what he had to say. There was nothing else.
    She put the glass down, excused herself to go to the bathroom. Nicolai held on to the back of her empty chair.
    When she returned, she had somehow managed to find her serious little girl composure. She asked him about the work he was going to do and he made up a client. A large shipping company needed a new marketing campaign. She listened, asked questions, nodded and asked more questions. He surprised himself with the answers he so quickly came up with. He smiled, made jokes about the challenges of working with Greeks who showed up late for meetings, tapping her shoulder now and again as if she were a client he had to charm. It was a lie. They both knew it.
    After lunch, he dropped her off at Stuart’s. He left his car there and called a cab.
    â€œEverything’s going to be fine,” Stuart said. He tried to put his arm around Nicolai’s shoulder. Nicolai bent down to hug Alexia.
    â€œDon’t worry about a thing,” Mavis said. “You know we’ll take good care of her.”
    Stuart had been his best man. When Sara was alive, Stuart and Mavis were over at the house every Sunday for dinner. They’d dropped off food for him and Alexia after Sara died. He’d called them a week ago to ask them to take care of Alexia. Stuart had wanted to talk. Then Mavis phoned for one of her friendly chats. He couldn’t. Not then. Not now. All he could think about was getting away from their concerned nods, from Mavis’s warm hand on his back. He didn’t need her sympathy.
    â€œTake as long as you need,” Stuart said. Mavis crouched down and put her arm around Alexia’s shoulders.
    Nicolai knew Sara wouldn’t understand. She loved her friends, but they weren’t Alexia’s parents. “She needs you,” Sara would say to him whenever he was late for supper or worked weekends. No, he said to her now, Alexia needs better than me. He looked up at the waiting cab.
    â€œYou’d better go, Daddy. He’s waiting,” Alexia said. “Don’t worry. I’ll be good.” She held his hand as if he needed the support.
    He had to do this for both of them. “See you soon, paidi mou .”
    She nodded. He hugged her. Her arms wilted by her sides. He turned and got into the cab and waved at her over his shoulder as it pulled away. Long after he’d gotten to the airport, checked in and got on the plane, he could still see her brave little face.

2
    2010
    Alexia lay fully clothed