New Beginnings Read Free

the same since his divorce. Nothing in his life had been the same since his divorce.
    He sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. He rubbed his eyes and stroked the two-day growth of beard. He knew he must look like hell, but he couldn’t summon the energy to care. “What’s up, Marisa?”
    “I could ask you the same. You look like you’ve been on one hell of a bender.” She eyed the highball of scotch on the desk. “Have you?”
    “No, just not sleeping much.” Truth be told, he felt like he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in years.
    She glanced at the glass again, sighing. “Isn’t it a little early for that, Trey?”
    He chuckled, the sound unfamiliar to his own ears. It had been a long time since he’d had any reason to laugh.  “Honey, it’s gotta be five o’clock somewhere.”
    She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him, but he could see the fear and disappointment lurking beneath the anger.
    “Damn it. It’s not funny, Trey.”
    Her expression softened and he saw the pity. God, he hated to be pitied almost as much as he hated feeling useless, inept, and washed up.
    “I’m worried about you. So are Mama and Daddy. You haven’t been the same since the accident.”
    He slid the newspaper clipping under a stack of documents. He didn’t want her to know he’d been obsessing about the past again. Why couldn’t he just let it go, look to the future? Maybe he could stand the thought of a life without music if he wasn’t facing it alone. He sighed. No sense wishing for the impossible.
    “Nothing to worry about, sis. I’m fine.”
    “Prove it.” She claimed the chair across from him. “Come to Jimmy’s tonight. You and I haven’t spent any time together in months.”
    He shook his head. He hadn’t been back to his old haunt since the night of the accident. He had been on the wagon that night, not a drop to drink, not that it mattered. Two innocent people still lost their lives and he lost what little remained of the life he’d known. If he hadn’t gone to the bar that night, he wouldn’t have been on the road at two a.m., wouldn’t have rushed to the aid of the minivans’ passengers. He wouldn’t have been holding the hand of that little girl as he watched her slip away.
    “Sorry, not interested.”
    Marisa reached across the desk and put her hand on his arm. “Trey, please do this for me.”
    “That’s the last place I want to go tonight.” He glanced at the date on his phone, a neon reminder of that fateful day exactly one year ago. Not that he needed to be reminded. The visions were burned in his memory like a bad horror flick on perpetual rewind.
    “I think you need help.”
    He knew he needed help, had for years, but the only person who could help him wanted nothing to do with him. “Spare me your dime-store psychology, Marisa. Stick to what you know best, clothes and shoes.” He knew that would hit a nerve, piss her off enough to drive her away.
    “Do you think we’re going to sit by and let you self-destruct again, Trey?”
    Again.   Like he had five years ago when Sierra left him and he lost his will to live.
    “You were sober for almost three years. Why the hell are you doing this?  You’re punishing yourself for an accident that wasn’t even your fault.”
    He saw the tears in her eyes and hated that he was causing the people he loved so much pain. He knew they would be better off without him. Maybe he should just disappear. Hole up somewhere far away and drink away the past six years of his life.
    “This may not have been my fault, but what about the other accident?” The accident that took my baby girl and the woman I loved, he thought.
    “You have to stop punishing yourself for that. It wasn’t your fault.”
    He wondered, was it an accident or divine intervention? Maybe God was punishing him for every thoughtless, selfish thing he’d ever done. Maybe He disapproved of his tactics, trampling anyone and everyone on his mission to dominate