My Life in Reverse Read Free

climbs into the car.
    “Hey! You ready to have some fun?” I grin. This is my first time going out since everything has gone down. I’m excited to see my friend’s band—and that I got Tammy out of the house to go with me.
    “I am!” She grins back.
    We get to the bar and find a decent crowd. I introduce Tammy to my girl Danielle and some other friends who are around. The band’s already playing so I give my friends a wave as they rock out.
    “Want a drink?” I ask Tammy over the music. She nods her head. “Follow me!”
    We make our way to the bar and order when Tammy nudges my arm. “Look who’s here.” She says in my ear.
    I follow her line of sight across the bar. Of course he’s here. They are our mutual friends, so I anticipated this. “Don’t worry about it.” I tell Tammy. “I’m not.”
    The night progresses and I stop after one more drink—I have to drive home, after all. Tammy keeps drinking with my insistence. He keeps me in his vision all night, trying to goad me as he flirts with waitresses, bartenders—basically anyone that’ll give him attention. I ignore it all—it’s nothing new. It certainly doesn’t bother me. A couple guys try to flirt with me, but I’m completely not interested. They give up after they realize it. Right now, guys are kind of a pain in my ass.
    The band finishes their sets and it’s getting late. Tammy finishes her last drink and I ask her if she’s ready to go.
    “Yeah!” She says. I grin. I’m glad she had a fun night.
    “Hey,” He says as he walks up. His voice slurs and I know he had too much to drink. “Can you follow me back to the apartment since you’re dropping Tammy off anyway? I don’t want to get pulled over.”
    Internally, I shake my head. He’s already on probation—he shouldn’t be out drinking at all, much less drinking and driving. I want to say no—fuck off…but he’s still the father of my kids and God forbid he kills someone on the road tonight, I’d never forgive myself. “Fine.” I agree. “But take it slow, don’t drive like an asshole.”
    We all make it back to the apartments in one piece.
    “Are you going to be okay?” Tammy asks me.
    “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I assure her, though it’s me I try to convince.
    “Alright, thanks for taking me out. You know where to find me if you need anything.”
    “I do.” I tell her. “Thanks for coming with me. I’m glad you had fun.”
    Moments after Tammy heads upstairs, he walks up to the car. “Why don’t you come in? Mom has the kids, they’re all asleep. We can watch movies and talk.”
    I want to say no. I should say no, but I hesitate to answer. He’s drunk.
    “C’mon—plus it’ll be easier to leave tomorrow morning.”
    We both help Marissa and her husband John with catering and have an event tomorrow…well, today I guess. “I guess. But you’re sleeping on the couch.” I suppress the shudder that comes with the memory of the last time he was supposed to stay in the living room.
    “I promise.” He says.
    I don’t really believe him.
    We go inside and I regret it the second I cross the threshold. This is a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. This is dangerous . All the warnings run through my head, but I try to contain them.
    He’s not going to hurt me…right?
    In mere minutes, he has me in the bedroom—under him.
    “No.” I say firmly. “I don’t want to do this.”
    “Shhh.” He says.
    There are no kids to scream for now. There’s nobody to scream for.
    Nothing to do.
    He continues with his quest, despite my words which I repeat, again and again. I begin to cry halfway through. This is exactly what I didn’t want.
    He doesn’t care as he takes. When he’s done, he asks me why I’m crying.
    “I told you I didn’t want to.”
    “You’re just saying that.”
    I wait for the anger, but I feel nothing but numb. “You should go to the couch now.” I tell him.
    He shakes his head, but listens.
    I shut the door, but I don’t lock