Mr. (Not Quite) Perfect Read Free Page B

relationships?’ It didn’t sound like any conference Max had ever been in.
    ‘Our readers are interested in relationships.’ Allegra’s straight, shiny hair had swung forward again. She flicked it back over her shoulder and fixed him with a stern eye. ‘You’re supposed to be just listening,’ she reminded him.
    ‘So, yes, we were talking about that and how her problem was that she had totally unrealistic expectations,’ she went on when Max subsided with a sigh. ‘She wanted some kind of fairy tale prince.’
    Princes. Fairy tales. Max shook his head. He thought about his own discussions at work: about environmental impact assessments and deliverables and bedrock depths. Sometimes it seemed to him that Allegra lived in a completely different world.
    ‘We had a long discussion about what women really want,’ she went on, ignoring him. ‘And we came to the conclusion that actually we want everything. We want a man who can fix a washing machine and plan the perfect date. Who’ll fight his way through a thicket if required but who can also dress well and talk intelligently at the theatre. Who can plan the perfect romantic date and sort out your tax and dance and communicate...’
    Max had been listening with growing incredulity. ‘Good luck finding a bloke who can do all that!’
    ‘Exactly!’ Allegra leant forward eagerly. ‘ Exactly ! That was what we all said. There isn’t anyone like that out there. So I started thinking: what if we could make a man like that? What if we could create a boyfriend who was everything women wanted?’
    ‘How on earth would you go about that?’ asked Max, not sure whether to laugh or groan in disbelief.
    ‘By teaching him what to do,’ said Allegra. ‘That’s what I pitched to Stella: a piece on whether it’s possible to take an ordinary bloke and transform him into the perfect man.’
    There was a silence. Max’s sense of foreboding was screaming a warning now.
    ‘Please tell me this isn’t the point where you say, And this is where you come in ,’ he said in a hollow voice.
    ‘And this is where you come in, Max,’ said Allegra.
    He stared at her incredulously. She was smiling, and he hoped to God it was because she was winding him up. ‘You’re not serious?’
    ‘Think about it: you’re the ideal candidate. You haven’t got a girlfriend at the moment...and frankly,’ she added, unable to resist, ‘unless you get rid of that polo shirt, you won’t get another one.’
    Max scowled. ‘Stop going on about my shirt. Emma never minded it.’
    ‘Maybe she never said she minded it, but I bet she did.’ On a roll, Allegra pointed a finger at Max. ‘The thing is, Max, that shirt is symptomatic of a man who can’t be bothered to make an effort. I’m guessing Emma was just too nice to point that out.’
    Max ground his teeth. ‘For God’s sake, Allegra! It’s comfortable . Since when has comfort been an indictable offence?’
    ‘There are plenty of other new comfortable shirts out there that aren’t striped or buttoned too high at the collar, but you won’t buy them because that would mean changing, and changing is hard work,’ said Allegra. ‘And it’s not just a question of clothes. You need to change how you communicate, how you are . How much effort you put into thinking about your girlfriend and what will make her happy.’
    Closing his eyes briefly, Max drew a breath and let it out with exaggerated patience. ‘Allegra, I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ he said.
    ‘Why did Emma call off your engagement? I’ll bet it was because you weren’t prepared to make an effort, wasn’t it?’
    ‘No, it wasn’t,’ said Max, goaded at last. ‘If you must know, she met someone else. It’s not as if it’s a big secret,’ he went on, seeing Allegra’s awkward expression. It was obviously just as much a surprise to her as it had been to him. ‘I just don’t particularly feel like talking about it all the time.’
    ‘Emma seemed so