Mort Read Free Page A

Lezek. “Where are you based exactly?”
    F ROM THE UTTERMOST DEPTHS OF THE SEA TO THE HEIGHTS WHERE EVEN THE EAGLE MAY NOT GO , said Death.
    “That’s fair enough,” nodded Lezek. “Well, I—”
    “Dad—” said Mort, pulling at his father’s coat.
    Death laid a hand on Mort’s shoulder.
    W HAT YOUR FATHER SEES AND HEARS IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE AND HEAR , he said. D O NOT WORRY HIM . D O YOU THINK HE WOULD WANT TO SEE ME—IN THE FLESH, AS IT WERE ?
    “But you’re Death,” said Mort. “You go around killing people!”
    I? K ILL ? said Death, obviously offended. C ERTAINLY NOT . P EOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT’S THEIR BUSINESS . I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON . A FTER ALL, IT’D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN’T IT ?
    “Well, yes—” said Mort, doubtfully.
    Mort had never heard the word “intrigued.” It was not in regular use in the family vocabulary. But a spark in his soul told him that here was something weird and fascinating and not entirely horrible, and that if he let this moment go he’d spend the rest of his life regretting it. And he remembered the humiliations of the day, and the long walk back home….
    “Er,” he began, “I don’t have to die to get the job, do I?”
    B EING DEAD IS NOT COMPULSORY .
    “And…the bones…?”
    N OT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO .
    Mort breathed out again. It had been starting to prey on his mind.
    “If Father says it’s all right,” he said.
    They looked at Lezek, who was scratching his beard.
    “How do you feel about this, Mort?” he said, with the brittle brightness of a fever victim. “It’s not everyone’s idea of an occupation. It’s not what I had in mind, I admit. But they do say that undertaking is an honored profession. It’s your choice.”
    “Undertaking?” said Mort. Death nodded, and raised his finger to his lips in a conspiratorial gesture.
    “It’s interesting,” said Mort slowly. “I think I’d like to try it.”
    “Where did you say your business was?” said Lezek. “Is it far?”
    N O FURTHER THAN THE THICKNESS OF A SHADOW , Said Death. W HERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO . W HERE MAN IS, THERE AM I. W HEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE .
    “Ah,” said Lezek, “you get about a bit, then.” He looked puzzled, like a man struggling to remember something important, and then obviously gave up.
    Death patted him on the shoulder in a friendly fashion and turned to Mort.
    H AVE YOU ANY POSSESSIONS, BOY ?
    “Yes,” said Mort, and then remembered. “Only I think I left them in the shop. Dad, we left the sack in the clothes shop!”
    “It’ll be shut,” said Lezek. “Shops don’t open on Hogswatch Day. You’ll have to go back the day after tomorrow—well, tomorrow now.”
    I T IS OF LITTLE ACCOUNT , said Death. W E WILL LEAVE NOW . N O DOUBT I WILL HAVE BUSINESS HERE SOON ENOUGH .
    “I hope you’ll be able to drop in and see us soon,” said Lezek. He seemed to be struggling with his thoughts.
    “I’m not sure that will be a good idea,” said Mort.
    “Well, goodbye, lad,” said Lezek. “You’re to do what you’re told, you understand? And—excuse me, sir, do you have a son?”
    Death looked rather taken aback.
    No, he said, I HAVE NO SONS .
    “I’ll just have a last word with my boy, if you’ve no objection.”
    T HEN I WILL GO AND SEE TO THE HORSE , said Death, with more than normal tact.
    Lezek put his arm around his son’s shoulders, with some difficulty in view of their difference in height, and gently propelled him across the square.
    “Mort, you know your uncle Hemesh told me about this prenticing business?” he whispered.
    “Yes?”
    “Well, he told me something else,” the old man confided. “He said it’s not unknown for an apprentice to inherit his master’s business. What do you think of that, then?”
    “Uh. I’m not sure,” said Mort.
    “It’s worth thinking about,” said Lezek.
    “I am thinking about it,