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slammed hard into the anus of the
attachment and realized he couldn’t withdraw himself out of it.
    What the FUCK? Kyle thought and stood up with the
rubber torso stuck firm against his body.
    He looked at the box and discovered a warning that a hole
needed to be cut at the base of the toy for disposal of the, uhhhhhh ,
fluids. If there isn’t a hole, there is the danger of causing a vacuum and a
vapor lock, then having to wait for the erection to go down or go to the
hospital to have it removed.
    Kyle was suddenly terrified. He tugged and pulled
frantically trying to get the fricking thing off. The extra pulling and tugging
only excited him more. No matter how hard he tried, everything he did seemed to
make it worse.
    “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
    As he stood panic-stricken in the living room, the door
opened and Trudy looked to see her husband, holding a jar of Vaseline, standing
in a crotchless teddy, high heels and red lipstick, with a 12-inch vibrator in
his ass and a rubber fuck-toy attached to his penis.
    “OH MY GOD?!?!?” Trudy screamed, almost vomiting at the
sight.
    Kyle’s boss walked in after bumping into Trudy at her work.
They had discussed Kyle’s big promotion and she asked him to come over for
dinner as a surprise.
    The loud scream and thud from Kyle fainting could be heard
for miles.
    The hospital was able to remove the toy easily, but when he
felt the vibrator embedded itself into his bowel cavity and they had to operate
and do a sphincterectomy. Kyle can now fart and not make any noise. You’ve
probably seen him on Jerry Springer.

The Long Nights, Part 1
     
    The long day’s work made Melissa tired. She felt exhausted
and her body ached. Sitting in front of a computer all day didn’t help. Her
eyes felt like they weighed ten pounds. She had her caramel French vanilla
frappacino waiting for her as she slipped into her flannel pajamas. Then she
parked herself in the la-z-boy for some premium chilling and relaxing. But
there wasn’t anything on TV except a few badly acted R-rated Skin-e-max movies,
and the TV flickering light through the dark, quiet apartment sent her into a
badly needed sleep.
    Melissa awoke to a bright light shining in through her
window. She rubbed her face and scratched her ass, as she walked over to close
the blinds. Glancing across the alley to the cross view apartment, she saw a
very well-dressed man looking into a walk-in closet and tossing some clothes
onto his bed. Melissa was about to shut her blinds, when she saw him undoing
his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.
    Interesting, she thought.
    He slid his tie up over his well-groomed, thick black hair
and pulled off his shirt. His chest was tanned with not too much hair on it,
and he was very muscular. Not overly buffed out but nicely cut.
    Melissa found his unwitting striptease extremely erotic and
entertaining. Am I wrong to be watching this stranger undress? As he
unbuckled his belt, she knew she was doing the right thing.
    His white underwear clashed with his tanned muscular legs.
She was hoping he needed to change them also. He turned around and slid them
down his legs, kicking them aside. The muscles of his ass flexed and rippled
making Melissa salivate. Walking to his dresser, he hung out in all his glory.
Melissa grasped her crotch in a reflex, seeing something so beautiful. He
wasn’t hung like an elephant, but he certainly had nothing to be modest about.
From Melissa’s point of view he filled out his boxers rather well, especially
because as he put on a pair, the tip of his cock peeked out the leg of the
shorts. Melissa found herself drooling as she stood motionless in the shadowed
window.
    He put on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top that clung to
his muscular chest and walked out of the room.
    DAMN! Melissa thought. I was just getting warm,
well, wet from watching him and he left.
    A light went on in the next room and she saw him lying on a
workout bench. He started bench-pressing and she