Mood Indigo Read Free

Chick.
    â€˜One day he put a whole pineapple there instead of the toothpaste. When it was only the tube it would suck out the toothpaste, swallow it, and then pop its head straight back. But with the pineapple it wouldn’t work. The harder it pulled, the farther its teeth sunk in. Nicholas …’
    Colin held back the rest of his sentence.
    â€˜Nicholas what?’ said Chick.
    â€˜I’m scared to tell you the rest. It might take away your appetite.’
    â€˜Carry on,’ said Chick, ‘my plate’s almost empty, anyway.’
    â€˜Well, Nicholas came in at that very moment and sliced off its head with a razor blade. Then he swiftly turned on the tap and out came the rest.’
    â€˜Is that all?’ said Chick. ‘Give me some more then! I hope it left a large family in the tank.’
    â€˜Nicholas has put out a tube of raspberry-flavoured toothpaste to see …’ said Colin. ‘But tell me more about this Alyssum you were talking to him about …’
    â€˜I can just see her now,’ said Chick. ‘I met her at one of Jean Pulse’s lectures. We were both lying flat on our stomachs under the platform – and that’s how I got to know her …’
    â€˜What’s she like?’
    â€˜Oh, I’m no good at descriptions,’ said Chick. ‘She’s pretty …’
    â€˜Ah!…’ said Colin.
    Nicholas came back. He was bringing in the turkey.
    â€˜Sit down and eat with us, Nicholas,’ said Colin. ‘After all, as Chick was saying, you’re almost one of the family.’
    â€˜I must see to the mice first, if Mr Colin has no objections, sir,’ said Nicholas. ‘But I’ll be back in a moment. I’ve already carved the turkey … And here is the sauce …’
    â€˜Wait till you taste it,’ said Colin. ‘It’s a sauce made from creamed mangoes and juniper berries piped into little pouches of plaited veal. You blow into them like bagpipes and the sauce comes out like toothpaste.’
    â€˜Super!’ said Chick.
    â€˜You wouldn’t like to give me some clues about the way in which you entered into your relationship with her? …’ Colin went on.
    â€˜Well …’ said Chick, ‘I asked her if she liked Jean Pulse Heartre and she told me that she collected all his works … Then I said to her “So do I” … And every time that I said something to her, she answered “So do I”, and vice versa … Then, finally, just as an existentialist experiment, I said to her “I love you very much”. But that time she just said “Oh!” …’
    â€˜So the experiment was a flop,’ said Colin.
    â€˜I suppose so,’ said Chick. ‘But all the same she didn’t go. So then I said “I’m going that way”, and she said “I’m not”. But she went on “I’m going
this
way” …’
    â€˜Extraordinary,’ nodded Colin.
    â€˜So I said “So am I” …’ said Chick. ‘And after that I went everywhere that she did …’
    â€˜And the consequence was? …’ said Colin.
    â€˜Hmmm! …’ said Chick. ‘Well, it was bedtime …’
    Colin gulped hard and swallowed down a bottle of red wine before he recovered.
    â€˜I’m going skating with her tomorrow,’ said Chick. ‘It’s Sunday. How about coming with us? We’re going in the morning because there won’t be too many people around then. I’m not all that keen,’ he remarked, ‘because I’m a rotten skater, but we can always talk about Heartre.’
    â€˜I’ll be there …’ promised Colin. ‘And I’ll bring Nicholas … Maybe he’s got some more nieces …’

3
    Colin stepped down from the tube train and went up the escalator. He came out on the wrong side of the station, turned left and went right round