Miss Holly Is Too Jolly! Read Free Page B

slices of ham. Instead of putting the ham between the bread slices, he put it on the outside of the bread. Then he started eating.
    â€œWhy did you put the ham on the outside of your sandwich?” I asked him.
    â€œIt’s not a sandwich,” Ryan replied. “It’s a wichsand.”
    Ryan is weird.
    â€œI’ll bet Santa isn’t going to read thoseletters we wrote,” Michael said as he bit into his sandwich.
    â€œSanta doesn’t even exist,” Ryan said. “One time I saw this Santa guy on the street ringing a bell, and then on the next block, there was another Santa guy who looked just like him.”
    â€œMaybe the second one was a clone,” I said.
    â€œMy friend Billy wholives around the corner told me that they can take a cell from a sheep and clone it into a whole nother sheep.”

    â€œâ€˜Nother’ isn’t a word, A.J.,” Michael said.
    â€œNeither is your face,” I told him.
    â€œLook, it’s just impossible for one guy to visit every single house in the world in one night,” Ryan said. “Besides, our house doesn’t even have a chimney. How would he get in?”

    â€œIf you don’t have a chimney,” Michaelsaid, “Santa comes in through the toilet bowl. Everybody has one of them.”

    â€œThat’s disgusting,” I said. “And he couldn’t fit through the toilet anyway.”
    â€œIt’s just impossible,” Ryan insisted. “There’s no way Santa could make toys for every kid in the world.”
    â€œHe has Elvis to help him,” I said.
    Michael and Ryan looked at me.
    â€œNot Elvis , dumbhead!” Michael yelled, slapping his forehead. “Elves! He has elves to help him!”
    â€œI knew that.”
    At the table beside us, Andrea and her annoying friends were giggling. They must have been listening in on our private conversation.
    â€œYou better watch out, Arlo,” Andrea said. “Santa has a list, and he’s checking it twice.”
    â€œHe knows if you’ve been bad or good,” said Emily, “so be good for goodness’ sake.”
    â€œWho asked you two?” I said.
    â€œYou’re naughty,” Andrea said. “But Emily and I are nice, so Santa is going to bring us good presents. He’s probably going to bring you a lump of coal.”
    â€œThat’s okay,” I said. “I’ll give it away to some poor boys and girls who don’t have any coal. Then we’ll have more peace and love in the world.”
    Ryan and Michael cracked up. Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on Andrea! Why doesn’t a giant lump of coal fall on her head?

8
Getting Ready for the Holiday Pageant
    â€œÂ¡Buenos días!” Miss Holly said a few days later. That means “good day” in Spanish. There were red and green balloons and streamers all over the hallways. Spanish Christmas music was playing. And Miss Holly had that basket of fruit on her head again.
    Everybody was excited about our first rehearsal for the big holiday pageant. Everybody except the boys, that is.

    When we got to the language lab, Miss Holly was up on a ladder taping little plants to the walls.
    â€œWhat’s that?” asked Neil thenude kid.
    â€œIt’s mistletoe!” said Miss Holly.
    What a dumb name. Missiles blast into outer space. How can a missile have a toe? They should definitely get a new name for that plant.
    Miss Holly told us that when two people are standing under mistletoe, they’re supposed to kiss. Eww! Yuck! Disgusting! I’m not kissing anyone. And I’m sure not going to kiss anyone just because some plant told me to. Mistletoe is creepy. I’m not going anywhere near that stuff.
    Miss Holly told us that besides Christmas and Hanukkah, there is anotherholiday people celebrate in December. It’s an African American holiday called Kwanzaa. Ryan got all excited, because that’s the holiday his family celebrates. Miss