Miss Holly Is Too Jolly! Read Free Page A

face.” That’s the first rule of being a kid.
    Miss Daisy told me and Andrea toknock it off. She said that Hanukkah lasts for eight nights, and each night they light a candle in the menorah.
    â€œThey stick the candles in manure?” I asked. “That’s disgusting!”
    â€œMenor ah ,” Miss Daisy said. “It’s like a candleholder.”
    â€œOh,” I said. “I knew that.”
    To celebrate Hanukkah, Jewish kids play this game with a four-sided top called a dreidel that spins around, and they eat potato pancakes called latkes, and they hunt for chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil. The kids get presents every night, too, of course. Hanukkah is cool.
    Miss Daisy showed us how to spin adreidel and gave us each a piece of chocolate money. We had a bathroom break after that, and then she said it was time to work on our writing skills. We were learning to write friendly letters, so Miss Daisy asked us if we’d like to write letters to Santa Claus.

    â€œYeah!” everybody shouted.
    She told us to write whatever we wanted. This is what I wrote:
    Dear Santa,
    Please bring me a dirt bike and a football and a skateboard and a remote-control car and that new video game where you get to kill zombies with machine guns. Also I need a new Striker Smith action figure because mine got run over by the school bus after Ryan threw it out the window. I’ll take anything else you have lying around your workshop that is cool too. I love presents. But please don’t bring me any boring stuff like clothes or books.
    Miss Daisy looked at what I was writing and said I had to write something besides a list of stuff I want. So I added this:
    Santa, I think you should lose some weight. On TV they keep saying that Americans weigh too much. Maybe if you worked more than one day a year, you would lose a few pounds. My mother lost twenty pounds on Weight Watchers. That might work for you.
    Also, I don’t think it was nice for the other reindeer to make fun of Rudolph, laughing and calling him names. That was mean. If I was Rudolph and they wouldn’t let me play anyreindeer games, I would punch those other reindeer in the nose.
    Sincerely,
A.J.
    P.S. One more thing. Did you ever hit your head on the North Pole?
    Miss Daisy asked if anyone wanted to read their letter in front of the class. Andrea was the only one who raised her hand (of course), so she stood up and started reading.
    Dear Santa,
    This year I don’t want you to bring me anything. There are children all over the world who don’t have anytoys. So please take the toys you were going to give to me and give them to poor children instead. The world would be a better place if people had less toys and more peace and love.
    Love,
Andrea
    What a brownnoser! I know for a fact that Andrea only said that stuff so Miss Daisy would like her. Once I went to Andrea’s house for her birthday party, and the place was filled with toys. She has every American Girl doll ever made. The only reason Andrea doesn’t want Santa to bring her any more toys is because she has no place to put them.
    After Andrea finished reading herdumb letter, the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Miss Daisy started crying!

    â€œThat’s the most beautiful letter I’ve ever heard, Andrea,” said Miss Daisy.
    Andrea smiled her Little-Miss-Perfect smile.
    Why doesn’t a sack filled with letters fall on her head?

7
Is Santa Claus Real?
    That afternoon me and Michael and Ryan were in the vomitorium eating lunch. Andrea and Emily and their girly friends were at the next table, so they couldn’t bother us.
    It’s noisy in the vomitorium! Everyone was hooting and hollering. The lunchlady, Ms. LaGrange, was wearing these antler earmuff thingies on her head to block out the sound.
    Ms. LaGrange is strange.
    I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Michael had a tuna sandwich. Ryan had two slices of bread and some