Mara Read Free Page A

grip on the smooth round coin. I imagined that the people behind me would come forward and walk around me. Someone would take my place at the booth.
    Finally I got a hold of the coin and I stood up. The people behind me were still patiently waiting and I paid the clerk.
    ‘There you are, sir.’ I knew my cheeks were flaming red and I felt a drop of sweat on my nose. I quickly put the money in the container on the ticket counter, then wiped my nose with my sleeve.
    The man put my train ticket in a similar container on his side. Then he gave the contraption a twist and I got my ticket and he got the money. After another twist I got my change.
    ‘Could you tell me where I should go, sir?’ I leaned slightly closer to get his attention, since by now already he was looking over my shoulder for the next passenger.
    He pointed briefly with his hand, then waved me on.
    ‘Platform two, can’t miss it. Next!’
    Without a word of thanks I stepped back, and first placed my wallet and ticket in my bag. Then I looked around me. There were several groups of passengers all moving in different directions. I grabbed my suitcases and returned into the hall that I had crossed earlier on. I looked around me, searching, until I found the sign that I had noticed on my way in.
    Platform two. An arrow pointed me into the right direction and I saw on the clock beside the sign, that I had plenty of time. Nevertheless, I walked as quickly as I could to the platform. Better to be early than late.
    ‘Ticket, Miss.’
    A man stopped me before I could enter the platform and he stretched his hand out toward me. I looked at him, not understanding, until I noticed the ticket punch in his other hand. I quickly found my ticket and handed it to him.
    ‘Here you are.’ My voice trembled. I looked left when I heard a warning whistle, a short sound followed by a longer one. Then I saw a train slowly roll into the station accompanied by a lot of hissing and smoke. If that was my train I had to hurry.
    I looked back at the man who calmly took the train ticket and punched a hole in it with his ticket punch. Everything went slowly. With his thumb he pointed back over his shoulder toward the train which stood still by now. Then he returned the ticket to me. I quickly folded it in half and stuffed it into my wallet. Once again I grabbed my luggage and I walked onto the platform, struggling with the shoulder bag that almost slipped off, and the two suitcases that kept bumping into my legs, hindering me in my clumsy walk toward the train.
    On the platform I let a porter help me and I watched how he dragged the suitcases to the baggage car. The smell of oil and soot, blown onto the platform with the train’s arrival, made me nauseous and I was relieved that someone else took my luggage so I didn’t need to carry them anymore. I gratefully gave the porter a good tip and he in turn kindly pointed me to the right passenger car.
    ‘If you look for a seat now, you will probably still find one by a window.’
    He touched his hat and disappeared, in search of a new passenger.
    I decided to follow his advice and got on the passenger car he had pointed out. In the first empty car I looked for a window seat. Exhausted, I slumped down with the bag still hanging off my shoulder. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply in and out.
    Then I pulled the bag onto my lap.
    I realized I was exhausted, drained.
    In my mind’s eye I saw my mother’s face and his. The two of them together, like a cold and impenetrable front. Again I wondered to myself what had happened to the woman my mother once had been. When had he consumed all her spirit and snuffed out the light in her eyes? Had he done that?
    At first, when we had just moved into the manse, my mother had been just like I always knew her. We went exploring together through the spacious house and I helped her keeping the rooms clean. When we were finished with our work, she would prepare tea and we would have a cup of tea together.