Make Me (The Club #17) Read Free

repeated.
    "Yeah. Met someone else. Maybe we should have broken up before I went. Maybe that would have been better. I don't know. It was incredibly stressful."
    Something like relief flickered across her face. "So you do understand. Since Rob died, the only time I'm relaxed is when I'm busy at home writing. I'm all right at school too because I'm flat out and there's no time to think. I freeze when I go out. It's like I look out on the world and everyone is happy except me."
    "Then I'll come over to you." Ryan took her hand in a firm grip.
    Cari let out a long sigh then pulled her hand out of his. "You're kind. I want you to but...I just can't date."
    "He looked her squarely in the eyes. "It's going to be okay, Cari. You can move past this."
    She dropped her gaze. What he wouldn't do to sweep her up in her arms and make it better. Trauma had unraveled her world.
    "I'm sorry Ryan. I really am. I have to go home." She slipped out of the booth and hurried away.
    Ryan watched her go. She was like a butterfly. Stunning yet fragile. Fluttering with nervous energy. He had the feeling they could have something special together if he could just get past the wall she'd built around herself.
    He understood grief and how it affected people. Kerry hadn't coped with him leaving her for the army but he'd been twenty-two, loved his country and had wanted to serve. Eventually her emails had become fewer and then Jet had told him she'd found someone else - a Dom and when he didn't work out, another and another. Furious he'd sworn never to have anything to do with her. If only he'd been less hostile. Less angry. Had answered her pleading emails to reunite a year ago. Somehow he'd lost that love when she'd betrayed him. His gut twisted.
    Disappointed that he couldn't convince Cari to date, Ryan stood and noticing her coffee cup on the ground, stooped and picked it up. Her coffee had spilt over the tiled floor. He grabbed a napkin, bent and wiped it up. As he did so, he saw some of Cari's pages had slipped onto the floor under the booth. He bent low, swept them up and caught sight of his name.
    Ryan started to read.
     
    At home in her twin's apartment in the fancy old New Orleans style part of town, Cari squeezed back tears of disappointment. What was wrong with her? It had been easy to say no to invitations to date when she'd lived in New York after Rob had passed away. She hadn't been interested. Instead, she'd immersed herself in her teaching. But Ryan was a different matter.
    He made her sizzle. There was something commanding about him that drew her to him. She'd cried tears of frustration with Annabel this afternoon over how stupidly she'd behaved. Her own twin had sworn Ryan would be good for her.
    Cari sat at her dining table, reached into her handbag and pulled out her tattered diary. After Rob had died, she'd just started writing anything that came to mind to get the grief out. Over time, what with missing Rob and the companionship of a man, her writing had evolved into her erotic fantasies.
    Too strange, too out there to do. For her.
    She doubted she'd find anyone who'd want to act them out anyway. They'd be calling a therapist like her sister threatened. She started placing the ratty diary pages in order, diligently reading them over until she realized several pages were missing.
    Dear god. Cari closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. She certainly wasn't going to trek back to the cafe to find them. Hopefully Lucy would throw the pages out. It wasn't as if she had her name on them and anyway, who had time to read someone else's drivel?
    She needn't worry.
     

Chapter 2
     
    Ryan parked on Gerome Street near The Club. He wasn't planning on staying long so he didn't use the private car park for members but he needed to resolve what was troubling him. He'd had a gutful of The Club. When he was there even visiting the Fisse Prive room last night - the spanking room - flooded his mind with memories he didn't want. The scene had