Madness or Purpose Read Free

all that” he begins to lecture me. “Ok, ok I’m sorry. But I couldn’t help it.
    I’m just so exhausted” I groan as I slump against the seat and my head lulls to the side. “Oh shit! Hold on ZZ we’re here I’ll get you some help.”
    I can hear him yelling at people in the emergency room but everyone seems to ignore him. He rushes to the front desk of the ER and the receptionist thrusts a clipboard at him while she chats with her friend on the phone. I feel Gavin shift my weight to one arm and hear a phone slam down. “Hey” the nurse screeches. “I was on a call.” “I’m sorry, but you are working in a fucking EMERGENCY ROOM and we are experiencing a bit of an EMERGENCY here!” Gavin is glaring at her even though I am barely conscious I can feel it in the tensing of his chest muscles and the rhythm of his breathing. “A moment later the whiney nurse’s voice can be heard over the intercom. “Dr. Midenger to the entrance. Dr. Midenger to the entrance.” I hear Gavin grunt, “that’s better” and then everything fades to black again.
    I wake to fuzzy people buzzing around and someone calling my name over and over in a panicked fashion. “ZZ! ZZ! Wake up now! You promised you wouldn’t scare me! ZZ!”
    “What is her name?” “Zoe Zeta Jones.” “And you are sure she did not harm herself?” “No she did not! She was sleep walking and had an accident” Gavin was pissed at this doctor. “I didn’t try to kill myself” I whisper. “Finally, you’re awake!” Gavin exclaims. The doctor turns to me and nods. “Your arm is just about fixed up, and your head seems fine. We are going to run a few test just to be sure your bruised head is just that a bruise and mild concussion.” “Tests, bleck” I complain. “Seriously, Zoe just be quiet and let them fix you up and make sure you are ok. I want to go home and sleep sometime today!”Gavin scolds. “Ok. Fine, for you I will behave.”
    I let the doctors proceed without complaining or putting up a fight. I don’t tell them that there are 3 Gavins when there should be only one, but blurry vision isn’t really a new symptom for me. I’ve had it happen occasionally and it usually is after sleep walking and vivid nightmares I always tell Gavin I can’t remember. I think he suspects I have been lying, but he won’t confront me about it. He figures I’ll tell him when I am ready. I should probably tell him. He is my best friend and greatest ally, but if you saw what I do in my head you would think twice before even telling someone like Gavin. I can’t afford to lose him and somehow I am afraid if he knows then he will have me committed to the kind of facility you never come out of.
    After all of l the tests are done and we are leaving the doctor stops the wheel chair (the ones they force you to use on the way out) and to say he has forgotten one thing. I am too slow to turn around and by then he has stabbed me in the right arm with a giant needle and quickly bandaged it. “There, that dose of morphine should give you a jump start on the pain.” I quickly begin to feel a bit woozy and my head starts to get all foggy. The doctor hands Gavin a bottle of pills and mumbles some instructions. Well he didn’t mumble but, the drugs made everything feel sort of far away and hazy like a dream. I don’t remember driving home or Gavin carrying back up three flights of stairs.
    I definitely don’t remember him taking off my shoes and hoodie and curling up with me on the futon.
    The only I think I might remember is a bright golden light surrounding Gavin and him placing his hands on me. You know, like he put his finger tips to my bruised head and my sliced up arm. He didn’t say a word. Tears ran down his cheeks, not like me the few times I’ve blubbered like a little child, but a mixture of happiness and fear. The silent type of tears that are rarely shared, and shed only because of the deepest love. That morphine really must have really messed