MA08 Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections Read Free Page A

Anyway, I took it as one. It’s always nice to know when your spells are working.
    “It’s a disguise,” I said. “I figured it was the only way to operate on Perv without getting hassled by the natives.”
    “Perv!”
    Kalvin seemed genuinely upset.
    “By the gods, Affendi, what are we doing here?”
    “Affendi?”
    “Sure. You’re the Affendi. I’m the Offender. It’s tradition among Djins. But that’s beside the point. You haven’t answered my question. How did an intelligent lad such as yourself end up in this godforsaken dimension?”
    “Do you know Perv? Have you been here before?” I said, my hopes rising for the first time since I opened the bottle.
    “No, but I’ve heard of it. Most Djins I know avoid it like the plague.”
    So much for getting my hopes up. Still, at least I had Kalvin talking seriously for a change.
    “Well, to answer your question, I’m here looking for a friend of mine. He ... well, you might say he ran away from home, and I want to find him and bring him back. The trouble is, he’s ... a bit upset at the moment.”
    “A bit upset?” The Djin grimaced. “Sahib, he sounds positively suicidal. Nobody in their right mind comes to Perv voluntarily ... present company excepted, of course. Do you have any idea why he headed this way?”
    I shrugged carelessly.
    “It’s not that hard to understand. He’s a Pervect, so it’s only natural that when things go wrong, he’d head for ... ”
    “A Pervect?”
    Kalvin was looking at me as if I’d just grown another head.
    “You have one of these goons for a friend? And you admit it? And when he leaves you try to get him back?”
    Now, I couldn’t speak for any of the other citizens of Perv, but I knew Aahz was no goon. That’s fact, not idle speculation. I knew the difference because I had two goons, Guido and Nunzio, working for me. I was about to point this out when it occurred to me that I wasn’t required to give Kalvin any kind of explanation. I was the owner, and he was my servant.
    “I rather think that’s between my friend and me,” I said stiffly. “As I understand it, your concern is to assist me in any way you can.”
    “Right-o,” the Djin nodded, not seeming to take offense at my curtness. “Business it is. So what chore brings you to summon one of my ilk?”
    “Simple enough. I’d like you to take me to my friend.”
    “Good for you. I’d like a pony and a red wagon, myself.”
    It was said so smoothly it took a moment for me to register what he had said.
    “I beg your pardon?”
    Kalvin shrugged.
    “I said, ‘I’d like a pony and ... ’”
    “I know. I mean, I heard what you said,” I interrupted. “I just don’t understand. Are you saying you won’t help me?”
    “Not won’t ... can’t. First of all, you’ve never even gotten around to telling me who your friend is.”
    “Oh, that’s easy. His name is Aahz, and he’s ... ”
    “ ... And second of all, it’s not within my powers. Sorry.”
    That stopped me. I had never paused to consider the extent of a Djin’s power.
    “It’s not? But when I summoned you, I thought you were supposed to help me.”
    “ ... Any way I can,” Kalvin finished. “Unfortunately for you, that doesn’t cover a whole lot. How much did you pay for me, anyway?”
    “A silver ... but that was a while ago.”
    “A silver? Not bad. You must be pretty good at bargaining to get a Deveel to part with a registered Djin for that price.”
    I inclined my head at the compliment, but felt obliged to explain.
    “He was in a state of shock at the time. The rest of his stock had been wiped out.”
    “Well, don’t feel too proud,” the Djin continued. “You were still overcharged. I wouldn’t pay a silver for my services.”
    This was sounding less and less assuring. My easy solution to the problem seemed to be disappearing faster than a snowball on Deva.
    “I don’t get it,” I said. “I always thought Djins were supposed to be heavy hitters in the magik