what he told me she was all along. An ex."
Nat glares, radiating disapproval. "You’re a bum magnet." She pronounces it like the queen bestowing a grand title.
"Tell me something I don’t know."
She leans over and hugs me. "Didn’t mean it as a reflection on you. It’s a simple fact. You’re attracted to the wrong type of guy and we need to do something about it."
I sit back and fold my arms. "Excuse me for being a skeptic but what’s the solution? Turn me into Miranda Kerr?"
"You’re every bit as gorgeous as her."
Chalk up a Brownie point for BFF loyalty. Nat paused, tapped her bottom lip. "How about online? Speed dating?"
I wrinkle my nose. "No way. Those things are for desperadoes.”
Considering if I didn’t do something more proactive than hitting clubs I’d be jetting to corny Love in a month, maybe Nat had a point.
“I prefer to meet guys the normal way."
"Over the photocopier?" Nat had this haughty tone she used to perfection. Usually reserved for clueless clients in court and used to put me back in my place.
"Vaughan was a momentary lapse in judgment."
"What about Grant, Pete and Will? Were they lapses too?"
The thought of my boring exes makes the coffee in my gut sour and I hold my hands up in surrender. "What’s with the interrogation?"
Nat folded her arms. "How about you try it my way for a while? What have you got to lose?"
"Pride. Dignity.” I stood and gathered my bags. “Besides, I’ve got someone lined up and I want to see how that pans out first."
She must’ve believed me for the interrogation stopped. Almost. "What’s he like?"
"Who?"
"This new man."
I was a lousy liar; could never sustain it.
"Can we talk about him later? I don’t want to jinx it before it starts, you know?" Lame, but she bought it.
"Fine. Just don’t forget to tell me all the juicy details. You know I live my life vicariously through you. I’m an old married hag now."
Yeah, yeah, rub it in .
So I do too. "Actually, last night was pretty cool. Flirt central. You know the guy on the phone commercial? And the new spokesman for Calvin Klein?"
"You’re kidding?" Envy was etched into every line of her beautiful face.
I smiled, reveling in the glories of being a single woman in the face of my best friend’s matrimonial happiness. “Fantastic night, real perv fest. You’d have loved it. Wall to wall hotties. Pity Marlon doesn’t let you out much."
That was a low blow and totally untrue but I couldn’t help it. I was on a roll.
"Enjoy it while you can, Jaz. Things do change when you’re married." Her wistfulness got to me and I was instantly contrite.
"Married? I’m going to be the oldest spinster in Sydney. You’re lucky." And I meant it. Another Flo-ism: the grass is always greener on the other side and I wished I were a cow, a very happily married cow.
"Want some help picking out an outfit for tonight?"
I held up the various bags in my hands. "I think you’ve helped enough."
That was another thing we shared; Shop-aholics Anonymous could have a revolving door for us. If we could tear ourselves away from the malls long enough.
"Okay, though perhaps dress down a bit tonight? Don’t think those black boots, fishnets and mini I saw strewn around your room this morning would be right for Amanda’s housewarming."
"What’s wrong with my fishnets?"
"They’re so Rocky Horror."
"Frank N. Furter was the coolest." I give her a quick rendition of the Time Warp, complete with pelvic thrusts.
"Yeah, about thirty years ago. Move into the twenty-first century and get the Moves Like Jagger." Nat loved Maroon 5 though refuted it. Personally, I thought Adam Levine was hot too.
"Whatever. I’m going home to get ready."
"Call me tomorrow at work, okay?"
Nat loved our post-party conferences when we traded theories on why the man of my dreams who I’d met the night before hadn’t called.
"You’re working on Sunday again?"
"Few big cases coming up and I’m way behind on prep. Crims don’t
Irene Garcia, Lissa Halls Johnson