Love Changes Everything Read Free

home from the war. Why should a hard-hearted, bad man like him still be alive when so many good, kind men had died?
    Trixie felt wicked when these thoughts came into her head but she couldn’t help wishing that he would behave as a husband and father should do.
    Leaving Cilla on her own meant that for her own safety she had to be tied either into her cot or into her high chair. In the morning she was usually still asleep and Maggie told Trixie to simply fix a blanket over the cot to stop her climbing out and that it would be all right because she’d be home before Cilla woke up. Often, though, Maggie came home to find Cilla not only awake, but screaming so loudly that she could be heard out in the street and both Maggie and Trixie worried in case one of the neighbours reported them for neglecting the child.
    At first it had been much the same in the afternoon. When Maggie tied Cilla into her high chair she screamed and cried. Maggie hated leaving her on her own, even though she knew it would only be ten or twenty minutes before Trixie was home.
    Gradually, however, Cilla became used to the routine and more or less accepted it. Maggie always gave her a rusk or a biscuit before she left and this seemed to pacify her.
    Even if he was off work, Sam refused to look after Cilla, even for a few minutes. He still resented her presence and couldn’t bear to touch her. He never kissed or cuddled her or even took her on his knee.
    Sometimes Maggie caught him looking at Cilla from over the top of his newspaper and she wondered what he was thinking. Several times she had tried to talk to him about Cilla, hoping to enlist his help with her, but he either immersed himself in the newspaper and refused to listen or he stalked off to the pub.
    When this happened he usually returned home so drunk that he had a hangover the next morning and was incapable of going to work. As a result he handed over even less housekeeping money than usual at the end of the week so that Maggie eventually avoided even mentioning Cilla’s name.
    Knowing how quick Sam was to use his fists if anything upset him she also made sure that she kept Cilla out of his way as much as possible. She was always afraid that Cilla’s crying might spark off some sort of reaction but, fortunately, he always seemed to ignore it, even though her high-pitched wail was almost unbearable.
    The only one who was always willing to look after Cilla was Trixie. She never seemed to lose her patience with her and was always prepared to bath, feed and play with her. As a result, as the months passed, it did seem that Cilla was slowly making some progress. Even though she was now five and could stand and walk on her own, it seemed unlikely that she could go to school. She would never been be able to understand what was going on around her or take part in normal play or lessons with the other children.
    Trixie was concerned that once she started work she would have less time to look after Cilla and that as a result Cilla mightn’t keep up the progress she seemed to be making.
    â€˜You must make time to play with her and talk to her more, Mum,’ Trixie told her when she voiced this worry aloud. ‘She understands a lot more than you think.’
    â€˜I haven’t the same energy as you have to do that,’ Maggie sighed. ‘I have all the cleaning, washing and ironing to do as well as the cooking and shopping.’
    â€˜I know that, but talk to her while you are preparing the vegetables and cooking. Don’t just sit her in her high chair with a biscuit while you are dusting and cleaning; give her a duster and let her help you. Let her walk to the shops . . .’
    â€˜Don’t talk daft. She’s tired out by the time we get there and then she wants to be carried and I can’t carry her and all the shopping as well.’
    â€˜You don’t have to. Take the pram, but let her walk till she gets tired and then you can put her and