Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 07 Read Free

talking. “Georgia, you don’t think he’s, you know, well, a bit worried that you might be a bit…well, unusual.”
    I said, “Unusual? Like how?”
    Tom said, “Well, when he first asked you if you wanted a drink, you went off disco dancing to Rolf Harris’s ‘Two Little Boys.’”
    Oh Goddygodgod, am I never to be free from my own bonkerosity?
    I said, “What else is a person supposed to do when their boy entrancers get stuck together?”
    Jas was still doing her nodding along wisely fiasco. She said to Tom, “Yes, yes, I see what you mean. He may be afraid to go out with her andreally who can blame him?”
    I was just about to lunge for her throat when her mum knocked on the door and said, “May I come in for a moment, Jas? Dad and I are off to the allotment and then we may pop into the club for a quick game of cards, so I’ve left snacks in the kitchen. I know how you young people eat! ’Bye.”
    Her mutti and vati were going to their allotment. Jas’s mum was wearing welligogs and a proper mum sized pair of trousers and a cardi. Her vati probably didn’t even know what leather trousers were. My vati had a clown car and my mum had come in last night with her T-shirt on inside out. How was I supposed to know how to behave? Why would any Luuurve God want to have anything to do with me?
    Oh nooo, please don’t let me blub.
    Tom looked at me and then he put his arm around me.
    â€œListen, Georgia, if he doesn’t get you then it’s his loss. You’re fab, we all know that.”
    Jas even had a go at being nice. “Yes, you are, er, fab, and you are so, you know, you. I mean you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t you, would you?”
    What is she rambling on about?
    Tom was fishing about in his rucky. “I’ve got something to show you, Gee.”
    Oh blimey, now he was going to get his newts out or something, at a time like this.
    He handed me a pile of photos. Oh good, they were of his trip to Kiwi-a-gogo land. How interesting, not.
    I flicked through them. Trees, trees, sheep, trees, Kiwi-a-gogo people in big boots and shorts and funny beards. And the men were just as bad!!! Hahahahahahah. Oh shut up, brain. More sheep, wombat droppings, rogue bores, more beards, sheep, trees, sheep and…then I saw the photo of you know who. The Original Sex God heartbreaker. Smiling into the camera. With dreamy dark blue eyes. Suntanned. Standing in a river wearing shorts. Thank goodness I had eschewed him with a firm hand and felt nothing.
    one minute later
    Corrrrrr. And also phwoar.
    back in my bedroom of pain
7:00 p.m.
    I felt like a goosegog extraordinaire round at JazzySpazzy’s. All that hand holding and giggling, it’s pathetic. I may as well have been the wife of the Invisible Man. Mrs. Invisible Man. It was all kissy kiss kiss, “Oooooohhh Tom, do you like my new shoes?” “Oooohhh Tom, I’ve got a new owl.” Pathetic. I would never do that in front of anyone. I needn’t worry, though, because if Masimo chooses Wet Lindsay, I am going to be living in a lesbian monastery for the rest of my life.
    five minutes later
    Life really has gone merde when I can’t even speak to my besty pally because she is so BUSY with her boyfriend.
    Well, so be it if she chooses Tom above me; that is her lookout.
    I will be eschewing her with a firm hand.
    A LOT.
    Like I am eschewing Robbie.
    I will not have him in my brain; there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. It’s crowded enough in there already.
    And, anyway, Masimo is my one and only one.
    Maybe.
    ten minutes later
    I hate Jas.
    My so-called friend and bestie. But I tell you this for free, she will never know how much she has hurt me. I might be in pain but at least I have my dignitosity.
    That I will never give up for anyone.
    one minute later
    Phoned Jas.
    â€œJas, what do you think Masimo will say, do you think he