exchange.
âSorry, sir, but the boss is out just at the moment. Iâll have to ask Larry, he might know if we have it.â
A moment later he was summoned. âLarry, come here willâya. This gentleman is looking for his relish. Do you know anything about it?â
Larry thought for a moment. The only relish he knew of was from Yorkshire. He plucked a bottle of YR sauce off a nearby shelf and offered it to Linhurst. âIs that what you wanted, sir?â
Linhurst pursed his lips to hide his amusement. To laugh would have been unforgivable. He should have realized that Patum Peperium, better known as Gentlemenâs Relish, might not feature on Norbertâs shelves. Nevertheless he was very partial to it smeared across his morning toast. The tartness of anchovy paste with its hint of lemon was just the thing to kick-start his day. That morning he had used up the last of the jars he had brought from London. In what now seemed a moment of madness, he had resolved to seek it out in Norbertâs supermarket. His predicament now was how to decline the bottle of YR, a sauce he particularly loathed, without offending either the girl on the checkout or the gangly youth in the long brown coat. It must have been at least forty years since he had seen a âshopâ coat like that.
âEr, no, thank you very much. Thatâs not quite what I wanted. Could I have an Irish Times instead?â
As he was leaving, he turned back to the girl. âOops, I nearly forgot. I have to get cigarettes for my daughter. Trouble is, I donât smoke, but I vaguely remember what the packet looks like. Itâs white with a small, red square. Does that make any sense?â
Here Maire was on firmer ground. âSounds like Silk Cut to me. Silk Cut Red, in fact.â
She plucked a packet from the shelf above the cash register. Norbert believed in keeping cigarettes well away from shoplifters. Maire inquired politely, âDo you think her packet looked like that?â
Linhurst hesitated, then murmured uncertainly, âYe-e-s, I think so. To be honest, they all look pretty much the same to me, but I think those are the ones.â
âOne packet, then?â Maire was anxious to resume honing her checkout skills before Norbert returned.
âBetter make it a carton. Actually, make it two cartons, if you donât mind.â
He paid by a platinum Visa card, the first one Maire had seen.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Foleyâs Bar was next door to The Trabane Malting Company. Both had opened their doors within a month of each other over a hundred years ago, and neither had changed much since. The pub was lucky in that it had a captive market, being the only one in the village, whereas the Maltings had to compete in a wider market. This it had managed to do until a few years back, when the demand by the distillers of Irish whiskey for malted barley dropped off noticeably. So noticeably in fact that all further investment by the owners ceased, and jobs were being shed regularly. First the seasonal workers were let go, then last year the first of the full-time employees were dropped from the payroll.
The drinkers at the counter were discussing this when OâHara, the schoolteacher, intervened.
âSure, if the English hadnât had to pay back all that money to America after the last war, things might be different round here.â
His listeners looked mystified but unimpressed. No one questioned OâHaraâs assertion, however, because of his famous short temper.
After another long silence, OâHara held up his glass of whiskey and tapped it knowingly. âAll because of this, lads, all because of this innocent drop of malt!â
The others remained silent as the grave, taking sips from their creamy pints of Guinness as they pondered this. After what seemed like an eternity, one of them was moved to ask, âHow so?â
âTheyâd no money to pay America, yâsee,
Darren Koolman Luis Chitarroni