Life Swap Read Free Page B

seeing as you’ve made such a strong case, how about I come over later? Say, around 11.30?’
    ‘Oh forget it,’ Vicky snaps. ‘I’m not your bloody sex toy,’ and with a sigh of irritation she clicks her phone shut.
    It is only when Vicky walks into the living room that she remembers quite how much she detests being the only single person at events such as this.
    Jackie and Pete are not here yet, and perched on sofas are women that Vicky doesn’t know, and even though Deborah sweeps her over and introduces her, it is clear from the outset that these are not people with whom she will have much in common.
    Oh stop it, Vicky admonishes herself for these habits of old. I will not feel inferior to these people justbecause I am single. I am Features Director of Poise !, for God’s sake. I am just as good as they are. Hell no, I am better.
    But from the very first second Vicky knows she won’t be accepted. It’s the way the woman introduced to her as Vanessa glances at her boho chic outfit, so very different from Vanessa’s own Joseph trousers, Jimmy Choo boots, and chic little cashmere cardigan.
    ‘These are Maloles!’ Vicky is tempted to shout, proffering her gorgeous new shoes. ‘Yes that’s right, too trendy for you to even have heard of them in your uniform of Joseph and Jimmy Choo! I’m trendier than you. Ha!’ But of course that voice in Vicky’s head is only attempting to drown out the slightly stronger voice that tells Vicky she’s not quite good enough, she doesn’t fit in, she doesn’t have the uniform.
    Or indeed the husband.
    ‘I was just telling Deborah that my daughter is finally potty-trained,’ Vanessa says warmly, and the voices in Vicky’s head start to recede. ‘She’s the last girl in her class, which is just so mortifying.’
    ‘Oh?’ Vicky has no idea what to say to this. ‘How old is she?’
    ‘Nearly two and a half. Can you imagine? How many kids do you have?’
    ‘I don’t.’ Vicky shrugs. ‘Just me.’
    ‘Ah.’ Vanessa doesn’t seem to know quite how to continue. ‘So, is your husband coming straight from work? I couldn’t believe Chris actually got home in time.’
    Vicky grins. ‘I don’t have a husband. Just me, I’m afraid.’
    Deborah reappears with a glass of wine for Vicky, and puts her arm around her. ‘I know, isn’t Vicky lucky? Can you even remember what it was like having no husband and kids?’
    ‘To be honest the only thing I desperately miss is my sleep. Especially on the weekends. I adore my daughter, but I wish she’d sleep beyond six o’clock on a Sunday.’
    The other pretty blonde woman that Vicky doesn’t know comes over and introduces herself. ‘I couldn’t help overhearing. My son’s started having bad dreams so now he climbs into bed with us every night. You try sleeping with two men in your bed, both of them snoring and kicking you all night.’
    ‘I was going to say that was one of my fantasies,’ Vicky says, ‘until you got to the snoring and kicking bit.’
    ‘Used to be one of mine.’ Vanessa laughs. ‘Now my fantasies involve earplugs and feather beds.’
    The men, congregating on the other side of the living room, come over. ‘Couldn’t help hearing something about fantasies,’ says the man who turns out to be Vanessa’s husband, Chris. ‘Thought now was the time to come over and join you.’
    Vanessa rolls her eyes. ‘Trust me, it wasn’t anything for you to get excited about.’
    ‘Hello, I’m Christopher.’ Another man shakes Vicky’s hand. ‘I belong to Lisa. Where’s your other half?’
    Oh for God’s sake, Vicky thinks. Is it really so alien that I should not have an other half…
    She shrugs. ‘He had an accident this morning and had to have his nose and left ear removed. I’m going to see him at the hospital later.’
    Christopher stands stock-still and stares at her. He has absolutely no idea what to do.
    ‘Oh I’m only joking.’ Vicky attempts a smile. ‘I don’t actually have a husband.