Lazy Days Read Free Page B

corner, and they enter a blue London door and go up a great long staircase and into a gigantic apartment and the woman asks Telemann to take off his trousers so that she can wash and dry them, and he takes off his trousers and she asks if he is hungry and he answers that he is, and she says she is quite good at singing and playing music but sadly bad at cooking, but she has a girlfriend who is really good at it, and she phones her girlfriend, and while she is talking on the phone Telemann notices that the house belongs to the one and only Kate Bush, but not the Kate Bush as she is today, this is Kate Bush as she was at the beginning of the Eighties, but he doesn’t mention the fact that he knows who she is, it is as if he instinctively knows that that will ruin the situation, so he keeps his trap shut, and Kate sits down at the piano and says she would like his opinion on a song she has just written, and then she sings Suspended in Gaffa , occasionally eyeing him, when the piano allows, with a glance Telemann thinks can only be one of great anticipation, and when the song draws to a close and Telemann gesticulates to say how fantastic the song was, Nigella surges through the door, carrying some cooking ingredients in bags and wearing that very thin turquoise blouse that Telemann is so fond of, and Kate explains the situation to Nigella, who immediately begins to whip cream for some quick comfort eating, but then she spills wine on her blouse and Kate wants to take it off to wash it, but Nigella doesn’t think it’s necessary, but Kate insists, and in the kerfuffle that ensues when the blouse has to come off, it so happens that some cream gets onto Kate’s clothes, so they have to come off too, and after some hesitation while the two women measure each another up, feeling conflicting emotions, they tear each other’s clothes off, like wild cats, and it isn’t long before they are standing naked and perhaps a tiny bit embarrassed, casting stolen glances at Telemann and Telemann’s organ, which is protruding majestically in a state of complete surprise over the edge of his underpant elastic, and Nigella grabs the cream and a bowl of strawberries together with a small saucepan of melted chocolate and takes Kate by the hand and approaches Telemann and…
    Telemann!
    Hmm?
    Telemann!
    What?
    Wake up!
    I am awake.
    Fine. Then you can pick up Heidi from the tennis courts.
    OK. I just need five minutes to… to come to my senses. I must have dozed off.
    Excuse me, but is that an erection I can see there?
    I don’t know.
    It’s fairly recognisable. Looks like one to me.
    Well, blow me down, now you mention it.
    How exciting. Maybe we should strike while the iron is hot?
    Aren’t I supposed to be picking up Heidi? And what about Berthold and Sabine?
    They’ve popped over to the Baders.
    OK. Well. I don’t know.
    You’re not normally so difficult to persuade.
    There are so many impressions to deal with at once. A little confusing.
    What were you dreaming about?
    I don’t remember.
    Was it about me?
    I think… maybe it was.
    Yes, because it wasn’t about the theatre, was it.
    No. This wasn’t theatre, I think. Even though it is not unknown for thinking about the theatre to give me erections
    Was it a fantasy… about me?
    The images are a bit vague but… yes, you could say that.
    How exciting. But you don’t feel like…
    Maybe not just at the moment.
    We’ll have to save it for later then.
    Yes. We can save that for another day.

Jewish Cuisine? Goodness, what an original birthday present. Thank you very much.
    I think you should take a closer look at the title, Telemann.
    The Jews have probably got loads of food traditions I know nothing about, that probably Nigella knows nothing about.
    Read the title, Telemann.
    The… Jewish Question. A History of Anti-Semitism from Olden Times to the Present Day.
    Are you giving me a book about anti-Semitism?
    I thought you would like it.
    Right. Sure. I was just warming to the