him.
As he races through the green, chased after by the ever-loyal Antonio, we chase after
him. After a while, I work up my nerve. “Let’s get closer,” I say to Melanie. She
grabs my hand, and we go to the front of the crowd right at the part where Olivia’s
clown comes for Sebastian and they argue before Sebastian sends him away. Right before
he does, he seems to catch my eye for half a second.
As the hot day softens into twilight and I’m sucked deeper into the illusory world
of Illyria, I feel like I’ve entered some weird otherworldly space, where anything
can happen, where identities can be swapped like shoes. Where those thought dead are
alive again. Where everyone gets their happily-ever-afters. I recognize it’s kind
of corny, but the air is soft and warm, and the trees are lush and full, and the crickets
are singing, and it seems like, for once, maybe it can happen.
All too soon, the play is ending. Sebastian and Viola are reunited. Viola comes clean
to Orsino that she’s actually a girl, and of course he now wants to marry her. And
Olivia realizes that Sebastian isn’t the person she thought she married—but she doesn’t
care; she loves him anyway. The musicians are playing again as the clown gives the
final soliloquy. And then the actors are out and bowing, each one doing something
a little silly with his or her bow. One flips. One plays air guitar. When Sebastian
bows, he scans the audience and stops dead on me. He smiles this funny little half
smile, takes one of the prop coins out of his pocket, and flips it to me. It’s pretty
dark, and the coin is small, but I catch it, and people clap for me too, it now seems.
With the coin in my hand, I clap. I clap until my hands sting. I clap as if doing
so can prolong the evening, can transform
Twelfth Night
into
Twenty-Fourth Night.
I clap so that I can hold on to this feeling. I clap because I know what will happen
when I stop. It’s the same thing that happens when I turn off a really good movie—one
that I’ve lost myself to—which is that I’ll be thrown back to my own reality and something
hollow will settle in my chest. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie all over again just
to recapture that feeling of being inside something real. Which, I know, doesn’t make
any sense.
But there’s no restarting tonight. The crowd is dispersing; the actors drifting off.
The only people left from the show are a couple of musicians passing around the donation
hat. I reach into my wallet for a ten-pound note.
Melanie and I stand together in silence. “Whoa,” she says.
“Yeah. Whoa,” I say back.
“That was pretty cool. And I hate Shakespeare.”
I nod.
“And was it me, or was that hot guy from the line earlier, the one who played Sebastian,
was he totally checking us out?”
Us? But he threw
me
the coin. Or had I just been the one to catch it? Why wouldn’t it have been Melanie
with her blond hair and her camisole top that he’d been checking out? Mel 2.0, as
she calls herself, so much more appealing than Allyson 1.0.
“I couldn’t tell,” I say.
“
And
he threw the coin at us! Nice catch, by the way. Maybe we should go find them. Go
hang out with them or something.”
“They’re gone.”
“Yeah, but those guys are still here.” She gestures to the money collectors. “We could
ask where they hang out.”
I shake my head. “I doubt they want to hang out with stupid American teenagers.”
“We’re not stupid, and most of them didn’t seem that much older than teenagers themselves.”
“No. And besides, Ms. Foley might check in on us. We should get back to the room.”
Melanie rolls her eyes. “Why do you always do this?”
“Do what?”
“Say no to everything. It’s like you’re averse to adventure.”
“I don’t always say no.”
“Nine times out of ten. We’re about to start college. Let’s live a little.”
“I live just plenty,” I snap. “And
Tim Lahaye, Jerry B. Jenkins