Just Like a Woman Read Free

and energy for her job. That Buddha could go, and the awful angel her mother brought her for Christmas a few years ago; and the transparent telephone, which had been fashionable and crazy when she bought it, was now just tacky and out of place. Sarah’s gentle snoring brought her back to consciousness and looking at the clock she calculated there was less than half an hour to waste before the session ended.
    Sarah was an enigma. She never did anything of value in her sessions and was the type of client Stephanie disliked seeing. A self-pitying victim. Stephanie’s mind projected an image from a film; the therapist imagines pulling himself out of his chair, launching himself at his client, taking him by the coat collar and shaking him. She fantasised how she would enjoy shaking all the Sarahs in her world. Shake her hard and just keep shaking her. But ethics prevented this, besides the need to keep her clients happy and returning to her and to keep paying her, she smiled to herself. They all had reasons to be in her consulting room, she knew that. They knew that. So why did they not just get on with it? God, it drove her mad. She really did want to shout at them sometimes. And had done.
    That poor old man, so full of self pity for his shit of a life; having to spend all his time looking after a disabled wife. He was so shocked when she had shouted at him. Told him to get on with it. And the next week he came back so grateful; it had changed his life, he said, shown him another perspective.
    Stephanie didn’t delude herself that it would work with everyone and had actually been a little shocked at her outburst. She didn’t like losing control. Then she looked back at Sarah, saw the tears trickling down her face and her thoughts softened. Sarah wasn’t as bad as some of her other clients and besides, she was far too pretty to be annoyed with for long.
    Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted with the sight of Sarah’s mouth beginning to gesticulate. But no sound came out. It moved again, until eventually a soft noise could be heard but no individual words.
    ‘Sarah, I can’t hear.’
    Her lips moved again, the sound still too faint. Stephanie forced herself to concentrate, pushing all her own thoughts to one side for a moment to listen. She leaned forward in her chair and heard.
    ‘I’m so lonely.’
    Stephanie waited. Was she finally going to do some work? She didn’t dare interrupt. Sarah continued, self pity evident in her voice. Here we go, thought Stephanie, the poor me bit coming out.
    ‘I have no one to talk to. There’s no one at work I can talk to.’ Sarah whispered.
    ‘You’ve got me.’ Stephanie said, leaning back into her chair and looking out of the window. Silence for a few moments and then Sarah continued slowly.
    ‘I hear the women at work talking… about boyfriends and husbands… I’ll never… never be able to get married… I’ll never ever have a boyfriend.’ Her voice trailed off.
    Stephanie leaned forward again,
    ‘Would you like a boyfriend?’
    ‘Yes…. but mother would never allow it… she wouldn’t let me.’ She paused. ‘And how would I meet anyone? All the magazines suggest going to clubs and starting hobbies. I don’t even have a hobby…’
    Sarah turned her face sideways onto the head rest and Stephanie watched in fascination as the tears ran from her eye and dripped down the side of her head into her ear. She let Sarah ramble quietly on for a few more moments, knowing nothing of significance was going to emerge, but an idea began to take shape in her mind. She turned away from Sarah, to look out of the window; it would be better than using the internet, and it might work, she thought.

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    Chapter Two
    S arah turned back to wave, but Stephanie had already closed the door. The darkness descended in her stomach as she strolled down the now solid path to her car. She could see Stephanie’s exasperation with her in every session, felt it as it crawled all over her whilst