new responses were present! I guess the head shot worked! From this point onward, my technique would be different…
2
Ask for a Recent Photo
March 1997
A month later I adopted a better procedure. Sifting through all the e-mails, I would first read the response and then download the photo. Based on chapter 1’s lesson, if a person wore shades in the photo, I would request another photo taken without sunglasses. A day later, I would contact the person by phone if he supplied his phone number. For safety’s sake, I would call him from a blocked number. It’s a good idea to leave only a few crumbs in the beginning of one’s dating trail.
Some have even suggested using *67 to block one’s caller ID. In today’s world where identity theft is so prevalent, using this method may be advisable.
If the person sounded eccentric or freaky, I would politely excuse myself from any further discussion. If the person was interesting to talk to, I would plan to meet him at a public place such as a diner or coffee shop close to my apartment, so I wouldn’t put myself in jeopardy. Being within a three-block radius of your home is a great idea for a first date.
A stage actor named Paul contacted me. He described himself as a six foot one inch thirty-four-year-old living on the Upper West Side. He fit the requirements of my request. As did I, Paul enjoyed travel, biking, and museums. He included two photos of himself. The first photo, a black-and-white head shot, was reminiscent of a young Sylvester Stallone from the early Rocky films. This made me a tad apprehensive. I remembered the character as good-looking and dull-witted. The last thing I needed was another good-looking, dim-witted celebrity-like character. What’s worse than waking up after five years of marriage to a husband with the intellectual capacity of a twenty-year-old? (Although haven’t some of us met some very mature twenty-year-olds?)
The second photo was a group shot consisting of a foursome outside the 19th hole at his country club. Standing third from the left with his arms around golfers’ number two and four, he seemed gregarious, athletic, and jovial, which intrigued me. What bothered me was I couldn’t discern the year the photograph was taken.
I wrote back to Paul telling him that I liked his profile and thanked him for his photographs (learning from my first mistake, I began to insist on at least two photographs to confirm gender). I also requested his phone number. It didn’t take long for him to respond with an e-mail that included not only his cell phone number, but also his home and work numbers. I decided to call him at home in the early evening. After talking on the phone for more than an hour, I found out that the group golf photo was taken a few years back. Although the photo wasn’t recent, I went ahead and planned to meet him the next day at a diner across the street from my apartment.
I got there early and took a seat in a booth facing the door so I could see him enter the diner before he would see me. I waited in anticipation for what seemed to be hours, but only five minutes had passed when a huge guy entered the diner, waved at me, and sat down next to me. “Hi, I’m Paul,” he said as he picked up the menu. He didn’t look anything like his photo. He must have weighed at least 280 pounds, and none of the additional weight was muscle! In the photo he was at least 80 pounds lighter! I didn’t want to say anything about his weight, of course, but I had to say something. He also looked at least fifteen years older than in the photos, which perturbed me more! If this is what Internet dating was—deception—I needed to decide whether this was for me.
“Your eyes are even bluer in person,” Paul shared. Just when I had generated enough courage to say something, a tired waitress interrupted the moment as she came to our table and said, “What will you have?” I imagined telling the waitress that I wanted the fastest way out
2
Ask for a Recent Photo
March 1997
A month later I adopted a better procedure. Sifting through all the e-mails, I would first read the response and then download the photo. Based on chapter 1’s lesson, if a person wore shades in the photo, I would request another photo taken without sunglasses. A day later, I would contact the person by phone if he supplied his phone number. For safety’s sake, I would call him from a blocked number. It’s a good idea to leave only a few crumbs in the beginning of one’s dating trail.
Some have even suggested using *67 to block one’s caller ID. In today’s world where identity theft is so prevalent, using this method may be advisable.
If the person sounded eccentric or freaky, I would politely excuse myself from any further discussion. If the person was interesting to talk to, I would plan to meet him at a public place such as a diner or coffee shop close to my apartment, so I wouldn’t put myself in jeopardy. Being within a three-block radius of your home is a great idea for a first date.
A stage actor named Paul contacted me. He described himself as a six foot one inch thirty-four-year-old living on the Upper West Side. He fit the requirements of my request. As did I, Paul enjoyed travel, biking, and museums. He included two photos of himself. The first photo, a black-and-white head shot, was reminiscent of a young Sylvester Stallone from the early Rocky films. This made me a tad apprehensive. I remembered the character as good-looking and dull-witted. The last thing I needed was another good-looking, dim-witted celebrity-like character. What’s worse than waking up after five years of marriage to a husband with the intellectual capacity of a twenty-year-old? (Although haven’t some of us met some very mature twenty-year-olds?)
The second photo was a group shot consisting of a foursome outside the 19th hole at his country club. Standing third from the left with his arms around golfers’ number two and four, he seemed gregarious, athletic, and jovial, which intrigued me. What bothered me was I couldn’t discern the year the photograph was taken.
I wrote back to Paul telling him that I liked his profile and thanked him for his photographs (learning from my first mistake, I began to insist on at least two photographs to confirm gender). I also requested his phone number. It didn’t take long for him to respond with an e-mail that included not only his cell phone number, but also his home and work numbers. I decided to call him at home in the early evening. After talking on the phone for more than an hour, I found out that the group golf photo was taken a few years back. Although the photo wasn’t recent, I went ahead and planned to meet him the next day at a diner across the street from my apartment.
I got there early and took a seat in a booth facing the door so I could see him enter the diner before he would see me. I waited in anticipation for what seemed to be hours, but only five minutes had passed when a huge guy entered the diner, waved at me, and sat down next to me. “Hi, I’m Paul,” he said as he picked up the menu. He didn’t look anything like his photo. He must have weighed at least 280 pounds, and none of the additional weight was muscle! In the photo he was at least 80 pounds lighter! I didn’t want to say anything about his weight, of course, but I had to say something. He also looked at least fifteen years older than in the photos, which perturbed me more! If this is what Internet dating was—deception—I needed to decide whether this was for me.
“Your eyes are even bluer in person,” Paul shared. Just when I had generated enough courage to say something, a tired waitress interrupted the moment as she came to our table and said, “What will you have?” I imagined telling the waitress that I wanted the fastest way out
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