Incendiary Read Free Page B

me and Jasper Black and making blow-job faces at us ever since he sat down with me. It couldn’t of been easier. There was a padlock on the outside of the door to the gents and I just clicked it shut through the metal ring that was there and went back to my table nearest the telly projector and sat down good as gold. The landlord and the old granddads up at the bar saw the whole thing and they were all nudging each other and smiling at me which would of been nice except that their teeth were a right state so it was a bit like a horror film actually like
Night of the Smirking Cardigan Granddads
. When Jasper Black turned back from the bar with our drinks he looked around for his mates and made a question mark face at me with his eyebrows.
    —What happened to the blokes I was with? he said.
    —They disappeared up their own arses. You should of seen it. It was amazing.
    Jasper Black looked at me and frowned. Then he shrugged and sat down. We just drank our drinks for a little bit then. We didn’t look at each other we looked at each other’s drinks like they were effing fascinating. The way 2 people only do if they’ve known each other less than 25 minutes or more than 25 years. So I stared at Jasper Black’s lager and Jasper Black stared at my G&T and after a while this loud banging started coming from the gents now his mates had found out they’d been locked in there. It got louder and louder. You might of thought the landlord would of let them out but he didn’t because we do things a bit different in the East End. There are mysteries in this patch between Bethnal Green and Haggerston Osama that would of had your prophets scratching their heads I should think.
    Jasper Black nodded his head at the door of the gents where all the banging was coming from.
    —That’s them is it? he said.
    —They started it.
    Jasper Black frowned again and then he started laughing.
    —Good girl, he said.
    —Yes I am a good girl as a matter of fact so don’t think you can try anything fancy.
    Jasper Black grinned.
    —Last thing on my mind, he said.
    —My husband is in bomb disposal he got called out on a job tonight I’m waiting for him to come home.
    —Bomb disposal, said Jasper Black. The red wire or the green wire eh? That must be one hell of a job.
    I shrieked when he said that about the red wire or the green wire I couldn’t help myself.
    —Oh god, he said. I’m so sorry that was bloody insensitive of me. Sometimes I can be such a prat oh now I wish the ground would just swallow me up.
    —It’s not your fault. I feel like a bomb myself tonight I’m all nerves I’m ready to explode I feel like I could go off at any moment.
    —Oh you poor thing, he said.
    He put his hand on my hand and I trembled.
    —Will you drink up now please, said the landlord.
    He meant it. 5 minutes later we were out on our ear and the banging from the door of the gents faded out when the barman locked the front door behind us.
    —Will they be okay in there? said Jasper Black.
    —Your mates?
    —Yes.
    —Do you care?
    —No.
    —Fine then.
    We stood there looking at each other’s shoes. It was raining. This is London Osama so if I do ever forget to mention the weather you just imagine it’s raining and cold and you won’t be far off.
    —Will you be okay? he said. I’m worried about you.
    —Worried about me? You don’t even know me. I’m not your problem.
    —There is such a thing as compassion, he said. We’re all in this together. You’re having a stressful night. Why don’t you let me at least walk you to your house?
    —Cause I don’t have a house. It’s a flat isn’t it?
    —Flat then.
    —It’s just round the corner. Don’t worry about me I’ll be alright I’ll just go home and put the kettle on.
    —Where are you living? he said.
    —On the Wellington Estate on the corner of Wellington Row. With my husband.
    —That’s funny, said Jasper Black. You live right across the road from me. I see the Wellington Estate from my