In an Instant Read Free Page B

know, but she doesn’t understand me. She doesn’t get me like you do.
    “My parents got into a major fight tonight. I mean, major . My dad packed his bags and walked out. I came home in the middle of it. I think it’s for real this time, Dani. I left. I needed to get out of there. I went to Mel’s, but she just doesn’t get it. She was all positive and sugary, ‘I’m sure it will work out tomorrow once they sleep on it,’ glass is half-full kind of shit. I’m done. She doesn’t understand me. Not everyone’s life is perfect. Not everyone’s mom and dad like each other. Not every mom wakes up and makes fucking pancakes for their kid every morning. But she doesn’t get it, and she never will.”
    I’m suddenly grateful to my sheets for masking my true feelings. I have never allowed them to surface because I can’t. I have buried them so deep I didn’t even know they were still there. But feeling him so close to me, so vulnerable, those feelings are bubbling up like a volcanic explosion. I’m trying to push them back down. I need to push them back down. So instead, I say nothing.
    “I’ve tried for a long time to fool myself into thinking we could work, but we’re so different I don’t think we could ever relate to each other. And I used to think it didn’t matter, but it does. I used to think I didn’t care, but I do.”
    I feel him pull away, and I know he has gone back to his usual head-buried-in-his-hands stance. I instantly miss his warmth. I hear his heavy breathing and know he’s trying to be discreet with his emotions, but I also know they are winning. And I know what I have to do.
    “Hey, I get it.” I throw the sheet off then gently run my hands over his heaving back. “I know. Do you think Marcus can relate?” I give a small chuckle to myself. “But maybe that is why we all work together—because they don’t get it, and we can escape it all with them. Maybe they make us better … everything better.”
    He turns, his light hazel eyes meeting mine, and my stomach reacts with a flip. I push that deep down, too. He is your best friend’s boyfriend, and your boyfriend is his best friend.
    A small smile breaks onto his lips, just enough to reveal his dimples. “Maybe you’re right.” He runs his hand over my leg, and I try to stop the automatic reaction my body has from his touch. Chills run through me, showering my skin with goose bumps as the warmth from his hand seeps into me.
    I remove his hand. “I know I’m right.” I try to give him a genuine smile.
    “I guess Mel and I are good together.” He lies down with his arms crossed behind his head while I lie down to match him so we are both staring up at the plywood ceiling above us.
    “Can I ask you something?” His voice finally cuts through the silence as he brings his hands down to his sides.
    “Sure.”
    “Do you really love Marcus?” I feel his fingers slip through mine, and I honestly don’t know what to do or say, so I intertwine my fingers with his and gently squeeze his hand.
    Touching him makes me realize how much I want him and how wrong this is. What do I say?
    “Do you really love Mel?”
    He gives me a deep chuckle. “Not fair. I asked you first.”
    I take a deep breath. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I think I do.”
    He squeezes my hand more tightly. “I know what you mean.” His words don’t really say much, but it’s the meaning between them that grips my heart like a vice. I’m not sure it will ever let go.
    “Why can’t things be easy, like when we were kids? We’d just come here to leave everything else behind. No boyfriends or girlfriends. No cares in the world, really.”
    I squeeze my eyes shut. I wish the same thing. It was special. It’s always special with him, and I hate myself for even thinking that.
    “Well, you fell in love with Mel, and the rest is history.” I want to say you ruined it that night. It was you. But I don’t. I can’t. After all, I don’t know how he will react,