If I Return Read Free

I’m humoring her.
    Audrey plops down on her bed and looks at me with all seriousness. “Well, for one... I think you need to get laid. That will go a long ways toward loosening you up.”
    I snicker at her idea. I’m by no means a prude, but I certainly don’t hop beds the way Audrey does. In fact, I’ve only had sex with one man in my young life... my former boyfriend, James. We met our freshman year at FSU, and we were like two peas in a pod.
    Both of us were serious, studious, and totally avoided the party scene. We started out as friends, and then started dating. It was almost a year before we even had sex, and both of us were virgins so it made for some awkward fumbling for a while. But, eventually, our intimacy leveled out and it was... nice. I mean, it wasn’t earth shattering and my world wasn’t rocked, but it was... nice. Safe. Reliable.
    Oh, God... my sex life was like a trusty old Ford truck. I realize in a brief moment of clarity that I sometimes border on the pathetic side.
    Still, since James and I broke up right after graduation, I haven’t really been interested in another relationship. In fact, I’ve haven’t really met anyone that perked my interest. Unless you count the gorgeous man I met twenty minutes ago.
    Shaking my head, I give a disapproving look to Audrey. “I’m just not built that way. I don’t have your willful spirit or your confidence. I wouldn’t even know how to go about getting laid.”
    “Well, then let’s try to tap into that this week. You don’t really know anyone here... a virtual stranger. You could be as wild and wanton as you want. We could hook you up with a hot ski instructor, and you could have wild sex all week. What’s stopping you?”
    I shrug my shoulders. What is stopping me?
    I suppose it’s the fact that it’s just not who I am. I’m not one for casual sex. I believe in love and romance. I’m a real nerd when it comes to those things. Besides, like I said... sex with James was... nice. But I don’t miss it, and I certainly don’t crave it. I’m wondering if that means I’m just slightly warmer than frigid, or it could mean I really don’t know anything about sex.
    I hope it’s the latter, because if it’s the former, I’m thinking there may be no hope for me at all.
    Desperately needing a change in subject, I ask Audrey, “So... what’s on the agenda this week?”
    Audrey leans over the bed and reaches into one of her suitcases. She pulls out a folder and flips through the pages inside. Finding what she is looking for, she pulls out a single piece of paper and scans it.
    “Well... it looks like tonight, everyone is meeting for drinks in The Great Hall. Tomorrow, we’re all going skiing at Wolf’s Ridge. Then we have a trip set to go to the Biltmore, and then the rehearsal dinner is in three days, followed by the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?”
    No, not really. Not for someone that just wants to curl up on a cozy sofa in front of that huge fireplace downstairs and read a nice, smutty romance novel.
    “Yes... sounds like you’re going to have a load of fun.”
    “Oh, no you don’t. You mean “we” are going to have a load of fun. You know you’re invited to all these events. Jenna insisted when I told her I was bringing you.”
    “I don’t know, Audrey. I’m not good in crowds and strangers make me nervous.”
    “I’m not a stranger. I’ll be there with you.”
    I chuckle to myself. Audrey would be there in person, but she would be a million miles away from me in spirit. When Audrey got in a crowd, she was the shining star. Center stage and bright spotlights always lit her up. She would forget about me and I’d be the pathetic wallflower hanging out in a dark corner by herself.
    “Seriously, Audrey. You know that’s not my thing. You promised when I said I would come that you would let me just relax. I’d be doing that with Mom and Dad right now on a sandy beach if I hadn’t said I would come