If I Could Do It Again Read Free Page A

from you soon.
     
    Your friend,
    Joshua
     
    P.S. I’m an open book so feel free to ask me anything.
     
    I fold the letter carefully, setting it down on my desk and staring at it for a beat. He wants to get to know me.
Me.
And he wants a picture.
    Shit.
    My heart is pumping hard in my chest as I snag up my phone and quickly snap a few tester photos. I’ve never been much of a selfie taker, and it turns out it really isn’t as easy as it looks.
    Oh my God, do I have three chins?
    Shit. Shit. Shit.
    These pictures look … awful. No, scratch that. They’re way worse than awful.
    Turning to my computer, I pull up Google, quickly searching ‘How to take a flattering selfie’, and then I scan through the results, soaking up every tip and trick the internet has to offer me.
    Two hours later, my hair is done, so is my makeup, and I’m back in my office. The curtains are open (supposedly natural light helps with the whole selfie taking thing) and I start taking pictures.
    I take at least a hundred photos before I manage to get one that I kind of like. I consider editing and altering it for about half a second, but then decide not to. What’s the point of having a pen-pal if I can’t be one-hundred percent real with him?
    So I print off the picture, open a
Word
document, and start typing …
     
    July 24, 2015
     
    Hey Joshua,
     
    How are you? It’s good to hear from you. I’ve enclosed a picture of myself as requested. I hope you like it. *smiles*
    Okay, to answer your question on why I decided to write to someone like you … The truth is, it happened by accident. I was researching a book and stumbled upon the pen-pal site. Then I found your profile, and after a lot of research on you, I thought I’d take the chance and write you a letter.
    You also asked if I’m dating anyone and I’m going to take a shot at explaining that, so bear with me because it’s complicated. The simple answer is yes, I am. Actually, I’ve been married for a little over two years now and I still live with my husband, but it’s been over for some time now. If I’m being honest with myself, it was over before we said ‘I Do’, but I guess we all make mistakes.
    He’s quite a bit older than me, fourteen years to be exact. He’s a successful tech consultant and when we met, I was a waitress. He used to come in and sit in my section whenever he was in town and flirt with me. I don’t know if it was the expensive suits or his confidence or perhaps it was that he was handsome, but we started dating, and then two years ago, we got married.
    Anyway, I’ve told him it’s over, that I don’t love him anymore, but he asked me to stay. He wants to try to work things out, and I guess I feel like I owe him that, but the thing is, there’s just nothing left to work out. I just don’t love him anymore. Actually, I’m not sure if I ever did.
    I hope you don’t think I’m a horrible person now. Sometimes I feel like I am, but the thing is, I really don’t think he loves me either. I think he’s just scared of change and what we have is comfortable for him.
    Does that make sense? I hope so.
    I’d be happy to send you one of my books. I’ll package one up and send it out at the same time as this letter, so keep an eye out for it. I hope it gets to you okay.
    Okay, I’m going to try to answer all of your get-to-know-you questions now. *smiles*
    What is your sexiest feature? Hummm … Well, I’ve been told I have bedroom eyes, so I think I’ll go with that.
    What’s your favorite color? Purple!
    What are three qualities that are important to you in the man you’re dating? Easy. Honesty, nonjudgmental, and understanding.
    Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what and where? I have three tattoos. One is a heart shaped key with a pink ribbon that says ‘follow your heart’ along the length of the key. That one is on my ribs along my right side. I have a hummingbird at the nape of my neck, and I also have an apple blossom tattoo stemming up