I Just Want You to Know Read Free Page A

with you, I deeply hoped and prayed for two baby girls. And on that day in May 2000 when I had my ultrasound, I found out my dream of “two pinks” had come true! I hurried home and began preparing your pink and purple pastel nursery. And ofcourse I couldn’t resist buying any and every pink and purple coordinating outfit available.
    My feelings of maternal bliss soared, and I spent every moment imagining what it would be like to be a mommy. Even though my pregnancy was difficult—I was sick most of the time—I kept myself focused on the delivery day when I would see your precious little face for the first time.
    On your birthday, October 8, 2000, when I went into labor and Daddy took me to the hospital, I was very excited but very afraid. Just as you were about to be born, I thought to myself, “There are two of us and very soon we will be three!” (Adding Mady six minutes later made us four!)
    When I saw your little face for the first time, I cried at the miracle of birth. I was officially a mommy—your mommy! I brought you home and didn’t know who you were. I learned quickly that you were gentle, kind, and sweet. You were a patient baby and child.
    In the first few days, I noticed a little red mark on the left side of the bridge of your little nose. Every day it became more distinct and apparent. Finally, I realized it was a birthmark, and later our pediatrician confirmed that it was a hemangioma. I felt sure I had caused the birthmark and was very upset (which was the very beginning of my now infamous mommy guilt). To me, you were perfect, birthmark and all. You were a beautiful little girl who was perfectly healthy—and for that I was grateful!
    One day, when you were about three, you were playing outside in the driveway and a little girl walking by with her grandfather stopped to play. She asked about your hemangioma on the side of your nose, and Mady stepped in with the details as to why you had the “strawberry.” She said an angel with redlipstick kissed you before you left heaven. That’s what I had told you when you asked about it.
    You were a sweet and quiet little girl. You often said “Mm hmm” when asked a question, and you smiled like a little angel. You usually let Mady do the talking for you, and she did a wonderful job. You have been a joy to raise, and you have taught me that my love as a mommy is endless.
    Over the years, as you have grown into a bright and beautiful young lady, I have watched you change, but I have never lost sight of my goals as your mommy. My choices and decisions then and now have remained constant: I want the best out of life for you. My children are my most precious belongings, and I take seriously the responsibility God gave me when he entrusted you to me. Although our family life has changed a lot over the years, my love for you will never change. I will always love you the same—and more—than I did the first time my arms wrapped around you.
    I have appreciated the help you have given me—especially over the last year as I have had to care for you and your brothers and sisters more and more as a single parent. I am amazed at your ability to know that I need your help more and at your cheerful willingness to give of yourself. Serving dinner plates, emptying the dishwasher, and overseeing cleanup are just a few examples of this help. Everyone pitching in, I believe, is the foundation of our bond as a family. You make me so proud!
    I am an open book to you, Cara. I have done and will do my very best to guide you and help you navigate the sometimes tricky paths in life. I will help you by sharing my personal life experiences. Life is always difficult, but it is how you choose to perceive it and handle the difficulties that matters most. Never compromise what you firmly believe in. Resist the urge to take theeasy road. The difficult road—the one of honor, perseverance, and honesty—is most rewarding.
    My prayer for you is that you will develop a deep love for God.