I Ain't Me No More Read Free

Tamarra had been saved for eleven years, New Day Temple of Faith being her only place of worship. Now divorced for one year after a fifteen-year marriage, during which Tamarra had learned her husband had had a child outside of their marriage, it was safe to say that at this moment, she was quite the bitter and unforgiving soul.
    â€œCalm down, Sister Tamarra,” Doreen requested as she stood behind the podium in the church classroom. She was born Doreen Nelly Mae Hamilton, then traded in her last name for that of her now deceased husband, Willie Tucker, but members of New Day lovingly referred to her as Mother Doreen. Known as a voice of reason and never one to be in drama or the subject of a drama, this sixty-something treasure chest of wisdom appeared to be nothing short of the perfect Christian.
    With the pastor’s permission, Mother Doreen, as the founder and leader of the New Day Singles Ministry, had called a special meeting for the ministry. She wanted to discuss a matter concerning one of the newer female members of the church, the woman they referred to as Sister Helen. Helen had joined the church between four and six months ago, and yet she’d already managed to stir up a decade’s worth of trouble.
    â€œI really believe something is going on with her,” Mother Doreen said, the wheels of concern rotating in her brain and in her heart. “Nobody in their right mind would post pictures of church members in what appear to be compromising positions on the church Web site. So there has to be something going on with her.”
    â€œI really believe she’s just crazy,” Tamarra replied. “No disrespect intended, Mother Doreen, but if those pictures on the church Web site had been of you instead of me, then I’m almost one hundred percent certain you’d feel the same way I do.”
    Mother Doreen had to admit that Tamarra had a point. Those pictures of Tamarra and the man she was seeing, Maeyl, that had turned up on New Day’s Web site didn’t put the couple in such a holy light. Of course, as it turned out, the photos hadn’t been what they appeared to be. The photos had shown Tamarra and Maeyl getting pretty close out in the church parking lot. They came to find, after all was said, done, and found out, that the twosome had merely prayed, then given one another a godly hug afterward.
    If it hadn’t been for Helen fortuitously revealing the photos to a fellow church member, Deborah, no one might have ever found out the truth. But the truth was out, indeed, and it wasn’t setting Tamarra free. It was hardly keeping her free, as she wouldn’t have minded doing three to five years in a jail cell for going upside Helen’s head.
    The photos had been removed from the Web site and the culprit had been found out, but as far as Tamarra was concerned, the damage had been done and Helen needed to pay for such an outright mean and hurtful act.
    â€œI’m with Tamarra,” said Paige, Tamarra’s closest friend inside and outside of New Day. “Sister Helen is a loose cannon, and we need to shoot her too-much-makeup-wearing, too-much-cleavage-always-showing, skirts-too-short, jezebel-looking behind up on out of here.”
    â€œPaige, now you just cosigning for your best friend,” Deborah noted, stepping in. “We really don’t know what’s going on with her.” Deborah stared off into the distance. “There could be something deeply rooted in her past that is just eating her up inside, something that’s got her hurting so bad, she doesn’t know where to direct the pain but at other people.” Deborah sounded as if she was speaking from experience.
    â€œWhatever,” Paige said, sucking her teeth and rolling her eyes. “We all done been through something. And I know I ain’t been saved but a minute, but I know enough to know that we all are going to keep going through things. That doesn’t give us