How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied Read Free Page B

pixieish hair popped above the pages as Ashley yelled, “Walk much, Brooke?” Shoving her friend, she glared at Bella. “Look out, freak .” She waved her hand dismissively, like she was swatting away flies instead of the awkward girl in front of her. Poor Bella.
    I peeked up trying to give her a smile, but she bowed her head back into her book and flitted around the corner, away from the Sneerers.
    â€œWoo! She’s looking rather hot today, don’t you think, Kev? How come you don’t get yourself some nice clothes like that, Ana? Maybe you should spend more time primping and less time doodling in that notebook of yours,” Daz said from behind me, poking at my shoulder.
    CREATURE FILE
    SPECIES NAME: Daz Ridiculosis
    KINGDOM: Our house; third door on the left, with the skull and crossbones sign
    PHYLUM: Idiot (large phylum, mainly comprised of spikey-haired reptile lovers)
    WEIGHT: 120 pounds of sarcasm.
    NATURAL HABITAT: Behind closed doors doing God-knows-what; at the pet shop terrorizing crickets; with Kevin, his male equivalent of a BFF.
    FEEDS ON: Pizza, Kraft macaroni and cheese with ketchup (disgusting), music that is screamed rather than sung, anything with scales, scutes, or shells.
    LIFE SPAN: Much too long.
    HANDLING TECHNIQUE: Proceed with caution; Daz Ridiculosis can change temperament faster than a ticked-off Komodo.
    I narrowed my eyes and spun to face him, gripping my notebook tight. So typical of Daz to be a turd and kick me when I’m down. I know I’m no Picasso, but I don’t make fun of him for all the geeko things he does.
    Oh wait, I do.
    â€œNobody asked you!” I hissed. There ought to be a law against brothers attending the same school as their sisters.
    Daz waggled an eyebrow with a crooked grin on his face. His best friend, Kevin, stood beside him, sketching something on a pad of yellow drafting paper. They were both wearing T-shirts and khaki shorts. Really, sometimes life seemed so much easier for guys. You didn’t see anybody mocking their clothes, did you? And their hair? Don’t even get me started—it’s like they get extra points for having bedhead.
    â€œWhat’s with them?” Kevin asked, looking up to watch Ashley sway down the hall. Even though he was best friends with Daz, Kevin was totally different from Daz. Mainly in that I can tolerate him. And unlike my brother, who clearly had a look of appreciation in his eyes at Ashley’s backside, Kevin seemed to watch her like she was some kind of science experiment.
    CREATURE FILE
    SPECIES NAME: Kevinidae Mechanogenius
    KINGDOM: Any place Daz is; the robot club; computer lab
    PHYLUM: Guys Who for Some Reason Think Daz Is Enjoyable Company and who Have Somewhat Nice Hair
    WEIGHT: Undetermined.
    NATURAL HABITAT: my kitchen (scarfing down Pizza Pops), the CERN lab (he wishes).
    FEEDS ON: Pizza Pops (see above), an inordinate amount of citrus, his thumbnail.
    LIFE SPAN: Despite über-nerd tendencies, he’s managed to survive quite well this far. (Why is that? What’s his secret?)
    HANDLING TECHNIQUE: Will do anything for a gift certificate to the GameStop.
    I shut my locker door and shook my head. “Welcome to the wonderful world of girls, Kev,” I said, forcing my tight frown away. Liv would never let Ashley get away with being a jerk to me. She always had the best comebacks and never seemed to even care when the Sneerers snarked at us. Honestly, sometimes she even laughed. Without her, I felt like I was alone on a dinghy in a great big ocean of piranhas.
    The anticipation of our wish buzzed inside me again. All I had to do was get through today.
    â€œOh,” I said, yanking open my locker again. “You forgot your robot parts in my locker last week. Did you need them?” I pointed to the disembodied arms that littered the floor. Being a supersmart guy and all, Kevin was big into robots. They filled up his locker and even Daz’s, so sometimes