How to Fall in Love Read Free Page A

it for himself. That was the voicemail I’d woken up to that morning.
    ‘Yeah?’ was Maguire’s response, far from ecstatic to hear from me, though I was surprised he remembered my name.
    ‘I’ve been calling you for two weeks. I’ve left you messages.’
    ‘I got them all right, they clogged up my voicemail. There’s no need to panic. You’re not in any trouble.’
    That knocked me off. It hadn’t crossed my mind that I would be in any trouble. ‘That’s not why I was calling.’
    ‘No?’ he feigned surprise. ‘Because you still haven’t explained to me what you were doing in a deserted apartment block on private property at eleven o’clock at night.’
    I was silent as I mulled this over. Almost everybody I knew had asked me the same thing, those who hadn’t were clearly wondering about it, and I hadn’t given anybody an answer. I needed to change the subject quickly before he tried to pin me down on it again.
    ‘I had been calling to ask for further details on Simon Conway. I wanted to know the funeral arrangements. I couldn’t find anything in the papers. But that was two weeks ago, so I’ve missed it.’ I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice. I was calling him for more information, Simon had left an enormous hole in my life and endless questions in my head. I couldn’t rest without knowing everything that had happened and had been said after that day, I wanted his family’s details so I could tell them all the beautiful things he’d said about them, how he loved them so much and how his actions had nothing to do with them. I wanted to look them in the eye and tell them I had done all that I could. To ease their pain or ease my guilt? What was wrong with wanting both? I didn’t want to sound so desperate as to ask Maguire those exact questions, and I knew he wouldn’t tell me anyway, butI couldn’t just draw a line under what I had experienced. I wanted, I needed more.
    ‘Two things. Firstly, you shouldn’t get so involved with any victim. I’ve been in this game a long time and—’
    ‘Game? I watched a man shoot himself in the head right before my very eyes. This is not a game to me.’ My voice cracked, which I took as a hint to stop.
    There was silence. I cringed and covered my face. I’d blown it. I gathered myself and cleared my throat. ‘Hello?’
    I waited for a smart response, something cynical and cold, but it didn’t come. Instead his voice was soft, the background wherever he was had gone quiet and I was worried everyone had stopped to listen to me.
    ‘You know we have people in here to talk to after an event like this,’ he said, gently for once. ‘I told you that night. I gave you a card. Do you still have it?’
    ‘I don’t need to talk to anyone,’ I said angrily.
    ‘Sure.’ He dropped the nice-guy act. ‘Look, as I was saying before you interrupted me, there are no funeral details. There was no funeral. I don’t know where you got your information but they’ve been telling you porkies.’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘Porky pies, lies.’
    ‘No, what do you mean, there was no funeral?’
    He sounded exasperated at having to explain something that was glaringly obvious to him. ‘He didn’t die. Yet, anyway. He’s in hospital. I’ll find out where. I’ll put a call through to them to let them know you’re able to see him. He’s in a coma though, won’t be doing much talking.’
    I froze, speechless.
    There was a long silence.
    ‘Is there anything else?’ He was on the move again, I heard a door bang and then he was back to the room with the loud voices.
    I struggled to formulate a single thought as I slowly sank into my armchair.
    And sometimes when you witness a miracle it makes you believe that anything is possible.

3
    How to Recognise a Miracle and What to Do When You Have
    The room was still and quiet, the only sounds were the steady beeping of Simon’s heart monitor and the whoosh of the ventilator as it assisted his breathing. Simon