Horror High 2 Read Free

find a toilet.
    The bean counters at D.E.A.D. made it explicitly clear to each principal – this generous gift was definitely a one-off. The schools had sod all chance of getting another one of these huge-o, expenso, portable classrooms before the next Ice Age, and since the next Ice Age in Horror wasn’t due until the same year Hitler’s lawyers got him past the pearly gates and into Heaven, the schools had better look after them.
    So you see the predicament. If Horror High lost the Interghouls Cricket Cup and Skullwater lost his whisky-inspired bet, the school lost its portable classroom.
    And if that happened Horror High was severely overstocked with students, withno room to house them. Some students would have to go, and since it was the crappy cricketing werewolves’ fault, guess who was out?
    Not too hard to guess, even for you …
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    Principal Skullwater summoned Jason-Jock to his office shortly after his realisation Horror High would surely and definitely lose the Interghouls Cricket Cup and his bet and the school’s lovely new portable classroom.
    Obviously Skullwater couldn’t reveal the details of the dodgy bet, but felt duty bound to warn Jason-Jock what was in store for him and his hairy brethren should they be defeated in the high-stakes match.
    Jason-Jock knocked on the heavy wooden door of the principal’s office.
    â€˜Come in,’ barked Skullwater.
    The nervous young werewolf pushed through the door and sniffed the air apprehensively. Something was wrong. ‘You wanted to see me, sir?’
    â€˜Ah yes, young Mr Werewolf. Have a seat.’
    Jason-Jock sat, resisting the urge to scratch at a flea outbreak in his left armpit.
    Skullwater straightened his tatty black funeral tie. He had to break the news gently, subtly, with all the caring compassion that modern undead principals are renowned for. ‘Now … yes. If you werewolves don’t win the Interghouls Cricket Cup, you’re out on your useless furry butts. There, that wasn’t so difficult.’
    â€˜What?!’ yelped Jason-Jock. ‘Why?’
    â€˜Well, it’s like this, and here’s the absolute, deadset, straight truth. As principal of Horror High it’s up to me to make the tough decisions – students understand that and love me for it. And it’s been drawn to my attention that we’re dangerously short on space at this school due to an alarming increase in monsterism. Things are tough all over, so we’re going to have to lose some students. It’s not my fault – honest. It’s all because of the D.E.A.D.
    â€˜They’ve done some market researchout in the Horror community to determine what people expect from a modern undead school. They hired a team of hack pollsters to gauge the community’s attitude and the results they came back with are interesting and startling to say the least. It seems the good citizens of Horror expect to see ghosts, goblins, mummies and vampires in our schools, maybe even the odd Yeti, Yowie or foreign exchange ghoul, but nobody actually mentioned werewolves.’
    Skullwater shook his head, feigning sadness. ‘Problem is, people just don’t regard werewolves as an essential feature of a modern, balanced community school. Fact is, and here’s the gospel truth – strike me dead if I’m lying – they consider werewolves more animal than human and more suited to the dog pound than a school. Add to this the fact that werewolves don’t do anything very useful and take up valuable classroom space.’
    Jason-Jock was in shock. He didn’t know what to say, so Skullwater kept going.This lie was getting easier and easier to tell the thicker the principal laid it on.
    â€˜See, here’s the skinny on our students, according to the community; ghosts are fine, they don’t take up any space at all and we could cram a million into a milk jug. Goblins are useful since they double as