Hopes and Dreams Read Free

everything.’
    ‘Self defence,’ I tell him. ‘If you don’t build your hopes up, you don’t get too disappointed when things knock you down …’
    Even as I say this, I’m not certain it’s true. I get hurt when things go wrong, just like everybody else. There’ve been a few knocks; I failed the Royal Ballet School auditions back when I was ten, and I was only offered a place here because Summer dropped out. I guess that hanging out with Summer Tanberry hasn’t helped my confidence over the years. Our dance teacher, Miss Elise, was always kind and encouraging, but everyone back home knew that Summer was the star. The harder she pushed herself, the cooler I played it. Admitting how much I cared would have been asking for trouble.
    When Summer was given the place at Rochelle Academy we’d both worked so hard for, I was genuinely pleased for her; she was one of my best friends, and she deserved the chance to shine. I would have been very mean to have begrudged her that. I cried myself to sleep every night for a week, but I would never have shown anyone just how gutted I felt.
    And then Summer dropped out and her place was offered to me.
    ‘I’m so proud of you, Jodie!’ Mum had said. ‘Only the very best young dancers are given this kind of opportunity!’
    I smiled, but deep inside I knew I was second best to Summer, that I always would be.
    ‘Modesty gets you nowhere in this life,’ Sparks says, toasting his toes in front of the woodburner. ‘You can’t just switch off the passion and pretend you don’t care. That’s only half a life, Jodie! You have something special, you know that, don’t you?’
    I look across at Sebastien and he glances over at me, grinning briefly before looking back towards the DVD. I wonder if he knows I think of him in those half-dreaming moments before I sleep, before I wake? I wonder if he cares? He’s a friendly boy, but I don’t think he has a clue who I even am.
    ‘I’m a realist,’ I tell Sparks. ‘Why reach for the moon when you don’t have a skyrocket to get there?’
    ‘I don’t have a skyrocket either,’ he replies. ‘It’s not going to stop me. Today Rochelle Academy … tomorrow the world!’
    I wish I had half his confidence.
    10th November
    Dear Summer,
    I’m sorry that we didn’t get to meet up at half term. I’m not sure if you actually got my messages? I rang you a few times, but it all sounded kind of crazy and hectic and you never did ring back, so maybe you didn’t get the messages at all. I hope that it’s not because you’re mad at me or anything.
    I spoke to Skye the last time, and she said you were doing fine, just that you were spending a lot of time at the clinic, and if you didn’t have time to see me you would definitely write. I hope you do, and that you’re feeling better, Summer. It’s so odd to think of you being ill – you’ve always been so strong.
    It was weird to be back home – I’ve spent the last six weeks feeling homesick, but after the first few days home I was counting down the time until I went back to Rochelle. It’s hard to explain … it’s the hardest I have ever worked, but I love it. It gets under your skin. Well, I guess you know about that. There’s loads going on in the run-up to Christmas, and this week they’ll be announcing which ballet we’ll be putting on for our first major production, and everyone is working extra hard, hoping to get picked for one of the main roles. I know I don’t have much of a hope, but I’ll give it a go.
    Skye told me you’re with Alfie now; that’s a surprise! Hope it’s going well. I have a bit of a crush on that French boy I told you about, Sebastien. Not sure he even knows I’m alive, but hey … you can’t pick who you fall for, can you?
    I feel a bit silly writing to you and never getting any replies, so if I don’t hear from you this time I’ll leave it a while and catch up with you at Christmas. I’ll be thinking about you, though, promise.
    Love you