stood
for just went straight out the window because Devon fucking Sealy thought I was
cute.” Kelly laughed.
“Dude, that happens all the time. If it wasn’t Devon Sealy, it might have been someone else. At
least you got a good lay your first time around.” She told me about her first
time, and how the guy she had been with—someone we both knew from our high
school—had nearly missed the right hole when he started thrusting. I started to
feel a little bit better as Kelly told me about all of her disastrous escapades
in the bedroom; about the guy who had been shocked that women actually had
pubic hair, instead of being naturally bare, and the guy who had refused to go
down on her but expected her to go down on him.
“Okay, okay,” I said, laughing. “So guys all suck. We
should just all be lesbians. It’s obvious to me now.” Kelly laughed with me.
“Wouldn’t it be so much easier? I wish I was attracted
to women.” She shook her head. “You know what we should totally do?” I frowned,
curious and confused.
“If you’re about to say ‘be each other’s girlfriend’
I’m not actually into women either.” Kelly laughed out loud, shaking her head.
“God no—think how weird that would make everything! I
don’t even know if they’d let us be roommates if we were into each other.” She
laughed again. “No, what we totally need to do is get revenge on that bastard.”
“What kind of revenge?” I asked, curious and horrified
and intrigued all at the same time.
“Hmm. What would be the best way to get back at him?”
Kelly thought about it, gnawing on the crust of her slice of pizza. “You could
tell everyone he’s got a really tiny dick.” I rolled my eyes.
“No one even knows that I slept with him, first of
all—I mean, except him, me, and you. I’d have to admit that I’d been stupid
enough to sleep with him if I wanted to spread that rumor around. Besides,
apparently he’s slept with everyone; they’d know I was lying.” Kelly grinned.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Well, what else is
there?” she considered.
“I don’t know; it seems petty to try and get revenge.” Kelly looked at me sharply.
“He hurt you—doesn’t a little part of you want to get
back at him for that?” I chewed on an Oreo, thinking about it. There was a part
of me—a little voice in the back of my head—that said that it would feel good
to make him feel as shitty as he had made me feel. But at the same time, I
couldn’t really say that it was right to do it.
“Well yeah,” I said, shrugging. “Of course I want to
get back at him. I just…” I sighed.
“Oh! I know what you can do. You don’t even have to
admit you slept with him; you could just spread the rumor that he’s got herpes
or something. That way no one will ever sleep with him.”
“Yeah, but everyone would want to know how I know he
has herpes. And I don’t want everyone thinking that I have herpes too.” Kelly
shrugged, snagging a handful of Goldfish crackers.
“You don’t have to say you slept with him. That’s the
beauty thing about rumors. You can just be like ‘I heard from one of the girls
who slept with him that he’s totally got
it. She’s getting tested.’ Or something like that.” I frowned.
“That seems a little extreme. I mean…” I worried at my
bottom lip. “I really hope he doesn’t have herpes or something. He might.” I
shuddered. The possibility that Devon could have an STD was almost worse than
the way he’d just moved onto the next
girl.
“I’m sure we could dig up something on him that’s
true—but that people don’t really know.” Kelly grinned. “I mean a guy like that
has to have some skeletons in his closet, right? We could just find it out and
make sure to tell everyone we know. It’d be all around campus in less than a
day.”
“But should I really be putting that much energy into
getting back at him? Like, yeah, it’s
shitty that he could manipulate me like that,
Stephen - Scully 09 Cannell