to be alright. I’d tell Archer about Janus, and it was going to be alright.
But then I frowned. He was laughing, and talking to someone. He didn’t look broken hearted . In fact, he looked quite the opposite.
I realized why when the car’s other occupant emerged. Chrystal Holmes , darling of the young Hollywood scene, beloved of critics and fans alike, and according to Mom’s gossip magazines, Archer’s ex-girlfriend.
Or perhaps, not-so-ex. Archer extended his elbow. She took it as they walked toward the restaurant. The butterflies in my stomach grew cold and stiff, faltering in their flight as an icy chill ran through me. Archer said something cute to Chrystal, and she turned and laughed, a hand touching his shoulder playfully. The butterflies inside me fell and shattered against the lead now in my stomach, their wings turned to ice.
They were dating? But he was mine! He’d made love to me in the rainforest. He’d made love to me at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. I was the one who had helped him distribute food. I was the one he had shared his secret spot to.
But he wasn’t mine . I’d lost every chance of being with him, thanks to those videos.
I opened a magazine—ironically, one with a picture of Chrystal on the cover and held it in front of my face, so only my eyes peered over the top. She was as beautiful off set as on—tall and blonde with a body that in another life, I would have killed for. She flicked her hair, the whole thing happening in slow motion, and a guy across the street walked into a pole. She made a tee shirt and jeans look fabulous.
I’d never be that girl, not if I lived to be a hundred. I’d told Archer once that I wasn’t in his league. This was the kind of woman who was. Just… couldn’t he have waited a little longer to move on? What did it say about how much I meant if he’d rebounded so quickly?
Then another thought occurred to me. This appointment had been set long before news of the video hit . A shiver ran down my spine. It was clear I was the only person living in torment. Heck, by now he probably didn’t even care about the true story behind the supposed video. If you have enough money, you can bounce back. It wouldn’t take him long to recover. He was already well on his way.
I waited until they were seated, their heads in their menus, before I slipped away from my table and hurried out the door. He wouldn’t notice me—next to a woman like Chrystal, why would he?
Chapter 5
No matter how old I was, there was always one person that I could run to whenever things were bad. I climbed back into my small, crappy car and drove bleary eyed toward Mom’s house.
I couldn’t tell Mom the whole truth, obviously—about the blackmail, and the debt I owed, and that she might have to move out soon. I couldn’t even tell her about Archer being a skeeving, womanizing so-and-so—she was infatuated with the man.
I frowned, ruminating on that last thought. All the good things he’d done. All the wonderful gestures—the flowers, booking out that cinema for Mom, the tape sitting right this very minute in my handbag.
And then I’d told him that we shouldn’t see each other, and he hadn’t called once, in all the hours since?
True, I couldn’t have told him anything more—someone close to him was selling us out, and I couldn’t tip them off that I knew about them—but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t at least try and call me. That didn’t mean he had to tell Christian he never wanted to see me again. That didn’t mean he had to go and reconnect with the ex-girlfriend half a day later .
And what was with telling Christian that he didn’t want to see me, anyway? Why hadn’t he had the guts to tell me himself? It was like, ever since last night, Archer was an entirely different man. Not the strong, honest, considerate man I’d known previously, but someone else.
Something was going on. Archer had changed, and I knew I should care about that. But I just