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if I
want to get to know you?’ he raises an eyebrow. The question takes me back a
little, even though it shouldn’t. Although I’d had a few friends before Alex
died, most people keep their distance from me now. ‘Let’s start with your name.
I’m Jay.’ Jay holds out his hand again.
    ‘Neve,’ I
answer wearily, shaking his hand.
    ‘Pretty
name,’ he says to himself. ‘I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you
around, ‘Kay?’
    I nod
numbly before asking something I’m not too sure whether I want to know the
answer too.
    ‘Why?’
    Jay spins
back around at my question, grinning again. ‘Because we’ve met three times now
and argued every time. If that’s not chemistry, I don’t know what is.’

 

CHAPTER 3

 
 
    Typically
for England, we get one day of the fluffy white stuff and then a week of icy
slush that soaks your shoes and socks, freezing your toes.
    The next
morning, after successfully not slipping over for the fifth time in the short
distance it takes me to get to school, I eventually reach the bike shed and
lock up my bike begrudgingly. Most people hate school because they don’t like
the work or can’t be bothered. I hate school for a completely different reason.
    I hook up
my headphones to my IPod and clamp them on, blasting the music loud enough that
it drowns out the meaningless babble of my peers. Most of the students have no
idea who the strange red head is, and I thank them endlessly for that.
    Despite my
red hair, I try to blend into the background as much as possible, keeping my
hood up to cover the colouring. I don’t want to be seen.
    It has
gotten to the point in the term when the year sevens have gone from nerdy
shorties, most of whom can fit into their own rucksack, to cocky idiots who
think they own the corridors.   So
because of this, I have to fight to make my way around New Heights Academy.
    But like I
said, I don’t mind it too much. The younger kids scowl and stare because I am
older or because of my looks, because they are different to most other people.
After all, none of the younger kids have bright red hair. It doesn’t bother me,
because I know they are not staring or judging me because of what happened to
my best friend.
    I avoid
the sixth form block as much as possible, yet can’t escape the odd run in with
my classmates. I keep my eyes fixated on the ground, squeezing them shut and
digging my nails into my palms because I know they are talking about me. Glancing up only confirms my suspicions as they look
away suddenly, or lower their voices even more than before. But I don’t need to
hear their whispers for it to hurt.
    I’m an
outcast. I’m not wanted here. I’m not really wanted anywhere.
    I hear a
familiar laugh and cast my gaze upwards as a girl I once knew heads towards me.
The laugh is so loud and high I can hear it through the noise of my headphones
and a whole new hurt starts to fill me. That’s all I seem to be nowadays, an
empty vessel that only feels complete when the cold yet hot feeling of pain
threatens to burst from its containment. The only thing I’m really certain
about.
    Kai
Gelding continues to laugh, arm linked with another girl’s. I’ve never really
liked Kai, I always had an odd feeling that she hates me through that Oscar
winning fake smile of hers. The only reason we know each other is through Alex.
The only reason we put up with each other is because Alex was friends with us
both.
    I always
thought Alex was a good judge of character but began to question that when he
started hanging out with Kai.
    Don’t get
me wrong, she isn’t a class-A Bitch or anything, I’m sure she’s lovely. She
just seems to rub me the wrong way and I’ve never known why.
    But now
I’m certain she hates me, because I have taken away her best friend too.
    She
catches my gaze accidentally and makes a little startled motion at my presence,
as if she hadn’t expected me to still be around, before her features harden and
she sends me her