Haunted Read Free

we go out and explore some paranormal or mysterious occurrence, trying to find out the “truth.”
    Which is totally whatever the sponsor wants to pay me to “uncover”.
    I don’t care. It’s just a bunch of fun for me.
    I get to travel, fuck the cute local women, and eat and drink fine food on an expense account.
    It’s my dream job.
    And, I worked hard to get here and make it. No one’s going to take it away from me.
    Not without a fight…
    This time, we get to explore some ancient Native American digs, out West.
    There’s a State Park built there, and they are doing some kind of construction project. But, some ‘strange noises’ or some such nonsense has currently shut down operations. The crew is staying away from fear of angering the ancient spirits.
    A bunch of superstitious bullshit, if you ask me. But, I’m not on call for my opinion of the supernatural.
    When you are trying to get advertisers for the highest rated show on cable television, you have to call the best.
    So, of course, they called me to go in and take a peek.
    $500,000 is a nice week’s pay, plus expenses and travel.
    That’s enough for me to take my ‘Executive Assistant’, Candice, off to Cabo and really take advantage of the ‘ass’ part of her title.
    Candice’s been with me for two whole seasons, and that’s a record.
    But, she’s competent, smart, and, most importantly, great in bed.
    She can suck a golf ball through a straw. My dick gets hard just thinking about her mouth.
    Mr. Peet (my penis) really has a thing for her. He loves just to hang out in her hot, moist throat while she does her best to do an imitation of a Hoover vacuum cleaner.
    Plus, Candice doesn’t give me any shit about our relationship.
    Once I made it clear that business was business and pleasure was also business, we got along just fine.
    At least up until now…
    Recently, Candie has been making some noises about things best kept between a boyfriend and a girlfriend, or maybe a couple of people who are engaged.
    Not my cup of tea. Not my scene, baby.
    Not my thing…
    So, it’s great timing that this spook story had come along when it did.
    Time for a bit of space between us.
    Still, I will probably make it up to her when the gig is over.
    She’ll get a nice vacation out of it, and I’ll get to lay back and enjoy the wonderful view between her legs while she gets up close and personal with Mr. Peet.
    *****
    This isn’t my usual modus operandi, as far as the show goes.
    I like having some control, and I try to present at least a semblance of an argument against the hokum, merely for ratings sake. Most of the time, the special effects crew will add a bit of CGI to the right spots to put just enough doubt in the viewers’ minds to make for interesting talk the next day at work.
    This time, though, it’s more of a cover for something big. I can feel it. My instincts are telling me there’s more to this gig than meets the eye.
    The fact that the Board members at Argo are interested in paying a lot of money to make this ‘mockumentary’ about the Indian Wells sacred burial ground is the tip off.
    No one really cares about spooks and haints when government money is on the line. I don’t really know what they found, or why they want the show to go the way they are pushing it, but oh well. That’s show business.
    It’s too good an opportunity to pass up.
    And, with Loundstrad Timber Holdings as the other major player in this game, I wager that there’s already a foregone conclusion to be reached.
    Not a real problem. The money’s great, and the subject matter is guaranteed to draw the largest share of the week from the competition.
    I guess I am just a mercenary, when I think about it.
    Fuck the truth, just show me where and what you want to film, and make sure that the check clears.
    And, “Haunted” has it down to an art, now.
    We’ve made the master template.
    All we do is flesh out the background a tad.
    Keep it dumb.
    Sell it to the