Hammered [3] Read Free Page A

extraordinarily large and speedy, he was perfectly gullible and willing to help strangers, so long as they spoke Old Norse. Perhaps I wouldn’t have to kill him after all.

Chapter 2
    Most visual representations of Norse cosmology are based on the principle of “You can’t get there from here.” That’s because their cosmology isn’t magical merely in the sense that it defies all science, it’s also internally inconsistent, so that planewalkers like me tie themselves in knots trying to get around. For example, in some sources, Hel is in Niflheim, the elemental realm of ice, and in others Hel is its own domain separate from Niflheim, so you’d literally have to be in two places at once if you wanted to drop by for a visit. Muspellheim, the realm of fire, is just “south,” but no one seems to know how to get there. Luckily, I didn’t need or want to go to either place; I had to get to Asgard and bring back one of Idunn’s golden apples for Laksha so she wouldn’t invade my brain and switch it off. (I didn’t know if she could invade my brain or not; I hoped my amulet would protect me, but it’s not the sort of thing you invite someone to do on a dare.)
    Ratatosk was taking me in the right direction, so I was confident that I’d make it to Asgard, bruised spleen or not. What would happen once I got there would probably be a surprise. The worst-case scenario would be that I’d arrive as all the gods were in council by the Well of Urd, right near the Norns, and Ratatosk would dump me in front of them all and say, and then I’d get my ass handed to me in short order.
    Perhaps I should try to avoid that.
    Ratatosk, how long before we are in Asgard?
I asked him as we bounded up the great tree root. It was far, far thicker than a sequoia but gray and smooth-barked instead of red and etched with crenellations.
     the squirrel replied.
    My, that’s fast. Odin will surely commend you for your speed when I tell him how you helped me. Might you know if the gods are in council by the Well of Urd at this time?
     Ratatosk stopped suddenly, halted by the intrusion of a disconcerting thought, and if I had not bound myself to his fur I would have flown upward for a brief time before gravity pulled me back down.
    Clearly Ratatosk could not think and run at the same time.
This danger comes from outside Asgard
, I explained, then spun him a lie.
The danger comes from the Romans. The Roman Fates, the Parcae, have sent Bacchus and his pards to slay the Norns, knowing that the Norns will not be able to see him coming
.
     Ratatosk leapt forward again but then halted abruptly after a few steps, as another thought locked down his motor functions.
    Damn inquisitive squirrel.
He found out from the King of the Dark Elves. The entire evil plot was hatched in their, uh, evil minds
. When in doubt, blame the dark elves.
     Ratatosk said knowingly. I got the sense that he thought the dark elves could keep secrets from Odin if anyone could.
    The Dwarf King believes he may already be on his way. Time is of the essence. Let your haste commend your duty, Ratatosk
.
     Reassured and reinvigorated, Ratatosk leapt up the root of Yggdrasil even faster than before.
    It is said that heroes have shat kine at the very sight of him. He drives men to madness. But I do not know how he would fare against the Norns. The danger is in the surprise he represents. If the Norns cannot see him coming, then he may be able to catch them unprepared. Their best defense will be my warning, and with your help all the gods