Goddamn Electric Nights Read Free

me a hair appointment
down at Dolly’s in an hour! I need to finish my shower and get down there! Now
get your ass over here and get it out!”
                 I love it when she orders me around
like this. She’s a real woman. I breathe hot an’ heavy into the phone.
             “ Goddamnit , Red! I need you as a plumber today!”
             Click.
She hangs up the phone. I pack up my tools and load up the truck. It’s just the
first of the month. Damn, she’s wantin ’ it bad , heh heh .
     

              
 

     
     

             She
answers the door completely naked and pulls me inside by the front of my
coveralls. She doesn’t speak a word, she just pushes
me into the bathroom and points feverishly at the snake stuck in the drain, her titties bouncin ’ against
one another like a couple sumo wrestlers.
             “Okay,
okay…” I say pulling my clothing out of her grasp, “Damn, woman. Just let me
work!”
             She
nervously chews her fingernails.
             I
set the toolbox down at my feet. I kneel and put on my red leather gloves. I
hear a hiss and then a scream. The scream came from Mrs. Sanders. The hiss came
from the demon serpent now barin ’ its fangs about an
inch away from my upper lip. Its body is straight as an arrow and venom is drippin ’ from the tips of its fangs and pooling on the
floor below. This is one mean
motherfucker .
             Quickly,
I snatch the hammer from my toolbox and stick the claw-end into the body of the
snake, just a hair below its wild-snapping skull. I pull with enough force that
it pops the wretch’s head right off and sends the bloody ball hurling through
the air – I nearly lose my balance when it does. Mrs. Sanders screams and bounces
up and down with joy. I walk over to her perfect naked body and grab her ass
with both hands.
             “You
still got a couple minutes free, dontchu ?” I say with
a sly grin. She smiles back. I drop my coveralls to the floor.
             A
strange stench pollutes the air – it smells like a perfect mix of skunk and
orange juice. Me and Mrs. Sanders look back at the
lifeless, headless body of the snake lying in the tub. A thick yellow fog is
spewing from the bloody hole in its neck where its head used to be.
             “Jesus
H. Christ! What the hell is that?!” I say. I look back at Mrs. Sanders. She’s
got a disgusted look on her face. She tries to speak, but instead she
collapses. I catch her just before she hits the floor.
             Then
the stink gets me.
     

            PART TWO

     
                 THE YELLOW STINK

     
     

             Every
inch of their decomposing bodies fascinates me to no end. How can such a
diminutive amount of vapor cause so much devastation? I’ve been studying
science for over forty years now and never before have I seen such a fantastic
disease! Of course, when I say fantastic I mean for it to be taken as
unbelievable or outrageous, not wonderful. No, this is far from wonderful.
                 Zombilictirubitosis , or more
commonly referred to as ZobmiPox or Z-Pox is a very rare disease
caused by zanthous noisomeness , or The Yellow Stink . The Yellow Stink is
released from the body of a three-year-old western whip snake when any part of
its head or body has been severed. The Yellow Stink instantly leaks through the
wound and into the surrounding air, filling the lungs of their predators,
paralyzing them instantaneously, and causing a slow deterioration of the host’s
internal and external organs. The bodies of the infected literally lay and rot
for months, maybe even years! We are still not certain of the full capability
of this disease, as our subjects are the only two known to have ever come into
contact with zanthos noisomeness .
We learn something new about the