Gift of Desire Read Free

She did that when she was nervous. “I…” She hesitated. “I thought of you both every day, every moment, while you were gone.”
    Rhys’ teacup hit the saucer so loudly Jeremy was shocked it didn’t shatter. He shoved his chair back from the table and stood so quickly he tottered. His damn back must be hurting again. Cordy gasped and Jeremy leaped to his feet and rounded the table to take his arm. Rhys shook him off impatiently. “I’m sorry, Cordelia, but I’m exhausted. I hope you don’t mind if I go to bed.”
    She looked stricken for a moment, as if his discomfort was her fault, and Jeremy silently cursed Rhys. They’d talked about this, talked about bringing it all out in the open as soon as they got home, not lying to Cordy. It was so important that they not lie to her. She was so open, and so devoted, and he couldn’t bear to hurt her that way. She’d understand. He knew her; he knew she would.
    “No, no,” she rushed to assure Rhys, standing immediately and bustling about, not looking at either of them. “Of course. How selfish of me not to realize. Let me show you up to the guest room.” She paused again and turned shattered eyes to them. “Your room, I mean. It will be your room now.”
    “I can show him,” Jeremy offered quickly. “I remember the way.” He needed to speak to Rhys alone. “You finish your tea, and I’ll be right back.”
    She nodded mutely and sat down like a puppet with her strings cut. Rhys stoically stared at the wall. Jeremy wanted to cuff him upside the head. Instead he yanked his arm and dragged him to the stairs.
    Once they were in the guest room—which would most certainly not be Rhys’ room—Jeremy turned on him. “What the hell is the matter with you?” he demanded in a harsh whisper. “We agreed. No hiding.”
    Rhys ripped off his cravat and swore. “Not tonight, dammit. You’ve just gotten home. She’s your wife. Let her have one night before you topple her world.”
    “You are not giving her enough credit.” Jeremy’s reply was stilted as he tried to hold his anger in check.
    “What we are asking of her is too much,” Rhys said in an exhausted voice. He sat down wearily on the bed. “I knew it all along, but it was a nice fantasy. It kept us going. But we’re home now, home where what we want is so far beyond the acceptable it’s a crime.”
    Jeremy took his shoulders in his hands and shook him gently. Then he lowered himself to his haunches so he could look Rhys in the eyes. “It was more than a fantasy, it was a plan. A plan I’m going to carry out. We will be together, all three of us. You’ll see. Cordy loves you, I know she does.”
    “I’m not the man I was.” Rhys’ words hung in the air between them. Jeremy wanted to deny it, but there were no lies between them. Rhys’ crooked smile was bitter. “You know I speak the truth. She cannot love me as I am.”
    “I do.” Jeremy made the declaration before Rhys had even finished speaking. “Trust me.” He leaned in, resting his forehead on Rhys’. “Trust me,” he said again in a rough whisper. Then he kissed him. Rhys held him tightly for a moment, and in that moment Jeremy was transported back to Algiers, back to when he’d first held Rhys and helped him through the night. It had been so natural, so perfect, he couldn’t believe it had taken him half a lifetime to realize he was in love with Rhys.
    But Rhys hadn’t accepted the inevitable yet. He’d agreed to ask Cordelia to accept both of them, in her bed and her life. They’d spent endless hours talking about her, about how much they both loved her. Jeremy could never deny Rhys the chance to have her love in return. He pushed Jeremy away gently and their lips clung for a moment before Jeremy gave in and leaned back. “You can’t… All of this…” Rhys trailed off and then started again. “We can’t go there, Jeremy. We already ask too much.”
    “I’m sorry,” Jeremy lied. He was tired of playing the game with