Furious Old Women Read Free Page A

criminology and the fact that he had solved a number of much-publicized murder mysteries made the headmaster ‘tremble as he put it, for the good name of the school.
    Carolus, moreover, had an unfortunately casual manner which Mr Gorringer could not but feel only narrowly missed the disrespectful. Mr Gorringer took his head-mastership seriously and was highly averse to the flippancy of Carolus. He was a large man with a pale solemn face and a magnificent pair of pendulous, hairy ears. His verbose and earnest manner of speech became him.
    Carolus was aware that in school the boys were apt to take advantage of his known interest in crime both ancient and modern. A master with a hobby-horse is easily led away from the tiresome lesson in hand into the realms of his fancy. He may or may not realize this as the end of the school period comes and he finds that he has talked for three-quarters of an hour on his favourite subject and forgotten what he was supposed to be teaching.
    Carolus Deene was very well aware of his weakness but he regarded his twin interests of crime and history as almost indistinguishable. The history of men is thehistory of their crimes, he said. Crippen and Richard III, Nero and the latest murderer to be given headlines in newspapers were all one to him, as his pupils delightedly discovered. However Carolus enjoyed his job of teaching history and was conscientious over his work.
    As he reached Newminster he realized that it was nearly nine o’clock and expected no mercy from his housekeeper Mrs Stick. The dinner she had cooked for him would be spoilt and her temper with it. If in addition she suspected that his lateness was caused by anything connected with criminal investigation she would be nearly as angry as Mrs Bobbin.
    â€œFortunately it was chops,” she said breathing hard when Carolus was seated. She was a small, thin severe woman who cooked superbly and with her husband made Carolus’s home the most comfortable in Newminster.
    â€œThat’s all right then,” said Carolus brightly.
    â€œIt’s a good thing I didn’t put them on,” said Mrs Stick. “Nor the soufflay either. Else they’d have been ruined. It’s nine o’clock.”
    â€œIs it really? Time goes by when you’re interested, doesn’t it?”
    This earned him a long suspicious stare from Mrs Stick.
    â€œI don’t know what you’ve got to be interested in, I’m sure,” she said. “It wasn’t anything to do with the school because Stick heard tonight from the school porter that you were Missed at the house match this afternoon. The headmaster was enquiring for you afterwards.”
    â€œOh dear, was there a house match?”
    â€œYes, Sir, there was, and you wasn’t at it so when you say you’ve been interested you can’t blame me if I think the worst.”
    Carolus said nothing while Mrs Stick was bringing in his grilled chops.
    â€œAll my nice saltay potatoes have gone dead and greasy, of course. Well, you can’t expect anything else. I was only saying to Stick that I don’t mind as long as it doesn’tmean you’re thinking of starting anything of
that
kind again. We can’t have murderers and such all over the house.”
    â€œSurely we never have?”
    â€œWell, coming here at all hours and us not knowing whether you’d ever come back alive each time you go out. Look at that time they tried to poison you! And how our holiday was upset that year when they kept finding bodies.”
    â€œThe chops are excellent, Mrs Stick.”
    â€œSo they may be. But I was saying to Stick today I shan’t be cooking for Mr Deene much longer if he gets up to any more of these larks with murderers. It will never do, I said. People will begin to think there’s something funny about
us
next.”
    â€œAnd what did Stick say?” asked Carolus curiously, for in all the years he had been hearing of Mrs