From Humble Beginnings (Joe Steel) Read Free

grasping nature. Or her coke habit.
    But still.
    Blackmail?
    When had I begun to stoop so low as a snake like her?
    There are times, when I just don’t recognize myself. When I look in the mirror and just fail to see Joe Steel. I see a stranger. A man in a suit that costs more than some people’s rent. A man who can threaten a woman at a moment, when anyone could have walked passed and spotted what he was doing through the transparent panes of glass separators.
    That man isn’t me, or at least, it doesn’t feel like he is.
    Where has the boy gone? The one filled with hope and foolish dreams. Who fell in love with a girl and did the decent thing, when she turned up pregnant.
    It’s alright questioning where that boy went, but I already know.
    Brook miscarried the child and I changed on the day of the funeral. The Joe of old disappeared and this Joe, the hungry one, moved into his place.
    Collapsing in my seat, I immediately slump against the desk. Resting my head on my hands, I just sit there, staring down at the wooden grain. I ignore the ringing phone, when it intrudes upon my thoughts. Since transferring Sandra and dealing with one of the spare PAs, who come in whenever they’ve got a minute, I’ve become accustomed to its bell.
    Only when the answerphone clicked on and I heard her voice did I leap out of my stupor, my hand shooting out to grab the handset.
    “Juliet? What are you ringing me for?” It’s almost a bark and the instant the words pop out, I regret them. I’m always so angry with her. So hostile. It’s like being nine years old again. Tugging at a girl’s ponytail, because I don’t understand why I like her.
    My hostility rewards me with silence. Just as I start to think that’s she’s hung up, her crisp tones sound over the miles, “I’m ringing to congratulate you, of course.”
    She hasn’t gone. My heart begins to beat those words.
    Why she of all people eats me up the way she does, I don’t know. I’m not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse. She’s only just finished her third year of university. She’s a baby in comparison to me. Cosseted, loved, protected and sheltered from the big bad world by Bernard, her dad. Nothing was too much for his little angel; for the true apple of his eye. Especially considering Bernard’s Orthodox Jewish background and the startling fact that his eldest daughter had come out five years ago.
    The roar from his office had been heard all the way down to this one on that particular day, when Bo had popped in for a visit.
    “Thank you. When did you find out?”
    “I had dinner with daddy a week ago. He told me his plans.”
    “And what? You approve? Or did you counsel him against my promotion?”
    Her sigh blasts my ear. “Why do you always do this, Joseph?” She only uses my full name, when she’s pissed off at me. And somehow, even though we’re not in close contact all that often, she tends to use my full name more than anything.
    It’s the bane of my life that I can’t talk to her like a decent human being.
    “Do what?”
    “Don’t play stupid. You know exactly what. Whenever I call you, just to talk, to ask after daddy and to make sure that he isn’t working too hard, you always do this. You start being so mean to me and I never do anything to deserve it.”
    “Why don’t you call Cass?” I ask, curiosity taking centre stage for the minute. My heart will start bleeding later on, when I’ve had a chance to go over this conversation and rage at myself for being an idiot.
    “Why do you think?”
    The majority of the company thinks Cass and Bernard are having an affair, but this was the first indication I’ve had that Juliet had an inkling something was going on between them. Surely that was the cause of her bitter tone. I’ve never heard it before and over the years; I’ve been on the receiving end of many lectures.
    Unless I’m getting the wrong end of the stick.
    Which after the morning I’ve had, wouldn’t come as a