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I don’t see him again.
    “There you are!” Bebe says as she skips under the thatched-roof hut of the beach bar. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
    “Oh my God, Bebe, some random hot dude just caught me composing a tweet! I think he read it!”
    “Hmm,” she says with a wide smile. “Did he frown or laugh?”
    “I’m not sure, he was walking away before I knew he saw it.” I hold the phone up and she nabs it out of my hand.
    “Let me see.” Her laugh turns into a squeal as she reads it. “Bare pussy, tongue, and clit all in the same tweet.” She laughs again. “Girl, no man will frown at that.”
    “One key lime martini for the lady,” Dewain the bartender says as he sets the drink down in front of me with a conspiratorial wink. “This one really is the best, the man does not lie, so this is the one I choose for you.” And then he picks up the ten-dollar bill key lime shorts guy left and walks off to help a couple who just arrived.
    “What’s that all about?” Bebe asks.
    “That bossy tweet-stalker wanted me to try this drink but I shot him down.” I take a sip of the drink and minty freshness invades my mouth. I swallow and it’s the perfect combination of comforting and cool. “It’s good, I guess,” I reluctantly admit. The bartender hears me and sends off another wink in my direction.
    “Well, Steve and I are going parasailing today, wanna come?”
    I scoff. “Are you crazy? I will be here at the bar if you need me.”
    “You can’t stay at the bar all day. At least go out and beach-bum so one of those cute cabana boys can come serve you.”
    I promise her I will as she trots off to a waiting Steve. They can defy the laws of gravity at their own peril, I have a good book and tonight’s tweet contest to get ready for. I hate that I don’t get to judge the winner tonight but I was ousted in the name of vacay. Bebe thinks I have a hard time letting work go. But that’s ridic. Everyone knows judging a dirty tweet contest is not work.
    I have a good chuckle with myself and sip on my drink. It is delicious and when I’m done I order another. I watch Dewain add the ingredients and shake it up like a pro. I notice the bar is almost empty now that I’m not so self-absorbed in dirty tweeting.
    “Where are all the people?” I call over to Dewain as he adds a slice of lime to my martini. “Why’s it so empty?”
    “Private party this weekend,” he answers as he puts my drink down in front of me. “The entire west end of the resort has been rented out for it.”
    “Wow,” I say as I take the first sip. Yum. “That’s pretty fancy. Must be moneybags, huh?” I reach into my purse to pull out some cash, but Dewain puts a hand over mine.
    “It’s paid for. Mr. Buttinski left an open tab for you.” Dewain gives me another one of those winks and I flash him back some suspicion.
    “What’s that mean?”
    “Well,” Dewain says, throwing up his hands in an I-surrender gesture. “He wants to make a good impression, maybe?”
    “Hmmm, I dunno. Did you see his face? Was he cute? I only saw his backside and while that was very nice, I’m a face girl first.” I shrug when he wags his finger at me. So I’m shallow? Sue me.
    “I think many women think he’s cute.” And then Dewain laughs. “I’m not gay but I think he’s cute.”
    I gulp the rest of my drink down. These damn things really are good. “I think I’m gonna head to the beach. Thanks for the drink. And if you see key lime shorts, tell him I said thanks!”
    I scoot off my barstool and make for the door and it only takes me a few steps to remember that I forgot the thing that goes on the top of every packing list. Underwear. I’ve got my bathing bottoms on today, but I figure I should pick up a few pairs as I stroll by a lingerie store.
    “Good afternoon!” the sales lady calls out in a sing-songy voice from across the shop. “Can I help you find anything?”
    “I’m good!” I call back. That’s