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Mike."
    "Okay, I'll be serious."
    "Good, we have a lot to get through."
    "I take it you're a little pissed at me for killing that guy in the bar," Mike said.
    "What gave it away?"
    "The three-headed puppy was a pretty clear indication."
    "I'm glad that you picked up on it," Lucifer said.
    "Still, I think it's a lot to expect of me. Not to kill people, I mean. That case in particular was self defence."
    "First of all, that was not really self defence. Breaking his arm or knocking him out would have been self defence. A glass in the face and a slashed throat is a tad extreme. Secondly, I don't care who you kill, but I would appreciate it if you would be a little bit more careful about witnesses and the like. We both know how capable you are."
    "Point taken," Mike said, "I'll only kill when I can get away with it. So, where do we go from here?"
    "New body, new start," said Lucifer, "But don't assume that this is a game with infinite lives. My patience will only stretch so far. While you've been away I've designed a very special room for you. I might have found a way to torture you properly, should the need arise."
    Mike couldn't tell if Lucifer was bluffing, but he was dealing with the Prince of Lies. Still, he played it safe.
    "Okay, Master, I'll be cool. Just send me back up."
    "Actually, before you go, I think you should apologise to Cerberus," said Lucifer as he pointed over Mike's shoulder.
    Mike heard a growl from behind. He lifted his head, turned it periscope-style and took a moment to admire the dog's penchant for dramatic effect. Each mouth foamed brilliant white rabies-suds. The heads snarled in harmony as they weaved intricate patterns on powerful but flexible necks. Mike stood up, tucked his severed head under his right armpit and went to Cerberus. Each pair of eyes watched him carefully. He could tell by the intensity in its body language that any sudden movements would result in the further loss of body parts.
    "Hey boy, sorry if you gagged a little on my hand; very inconsiderate of me."
    "You raised your hand to me," said the middle head. "Nobody raises a hand to me."
    "Yeah, yeah," said Mike. "Whatever you say. You know, Lucy here was just telling me about how I overreacted in the bar…"
    A blast sent his body into the wall behind Cerberus with such force, that his skin exploded open and his organs became wallpaper. His severed head bounced off an inflated lung and landed on Lucifer's desk. The pain was not quite on a par with the taste of punishment Lucifer had given him earlier. It was a very close second, however, and much more drawn out. Lucifer picked up Mike's head and gave him a very serious look.
    "I told you to call me Master!" The sonic boom burst Mike's eardrums and peeled back his eyelids. But he heard the entire command in his mind and so all confusion was avoided. Mike resolved to show respect to this guy at all times. It was, in his opinion, the most sensible thing to do.
    "Sorry, Master," Mike said. "Can I please have a new body now? This one seems to have outlived its usefulness. Please, I really am in a huge amount of agony."
    "Perhaps this will serve to remind you that you are not untouchable," Lucifer said. The Devil tossed Mike's head to Cerberus and all three sets of razor sharp teeth latched onto it and chewed. Mike didn't get his new body just as quickly as he would have liked.

Chapter 2
     

    Cathy Maguire looked away as her boss rummaged about in his right nostril with a fat, hairy-knuckled, index finger. The snot mine seemed to be where he drew his inspiration from. Her stomach churned and she bowed her head, allowing her long brown hair to fall out from behind her ears and shield her eyes from him.
    "I can come back later," Cathy said. There was a True Crimes magazine in her desk drawer more deserving of her attention.
    "No, no, Brown Eyed Girl. We'll finish this off now, eh?"
    Cathy rolled her brown eyes. Her notepad had two words on it. "Dear sir." This letter did not lack a