[Finding Emma 02.5] Dottie's Memories Read Free

nursing a shot of whiskey beside him as the news drones on in the background. It's rare that he pays attention to his bad knee, but every so often it will swell up to the point where he can't handle the pain anymore. Same with the wounds on his back.
    Today is a day that I remember just how much I love my husband and I thank God for bringing him home to me. It's like there's a battle inside of me — on one hand I am desperate to forget what he wants to remember but on the other hand, without that memory I know our marriage wouldn't be as strong as it is.
    The pastor says God never gives us more than we can handle. But who says it's up to Him to determine what we can handle or not?
     
     

 
     
    January 14
     
    Jack is sick. I know he is. The pharmacist called the house today to let me know his prescription was ready to be picked up. I checked the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and his pill bottles weren't empty. What is this new prescription for?
    He never tells me when something is wrong. He tries to protect me. But I know his heart isn't strong enough any more. I know that it's only a matter of time before I lose him.
    I can't lose him. He's my everything.
    We made a promise to each other a very long time ago, that we would never leave each other again, that we would die together, in this house. My parents did it. They both died within hours of each other in their bed one night. They were both old and ready to let others carry the burden. That's what I want for Jack and me. But now we have Emmie.
    We can't die like we'd planned. Who would take care of Emmie? Certainly not Mary. My daughter can't even take care of herself and I refuse to allow Emmie to be raised in a shelter or a home where unwanted kids are sent. That will not happen to my granddaughter.
    Emmie has been running a slight fever the past two days. I'm sure it's just a cold. We've had our share of cold days this winter and she's been a trooper trying to help Jack shovel around the house. I think they both must have overdone it.
    I think I'll put on a chicken carcass to simmer tomorrow and make them both some homemade chicken soup. All they need is a little love and care. I can't take Emmie to the doctor — we don't have any of her legal information. Jack sent Mary a letter last week requesting it. He mentioned bringing a lawyer in to help us get legal custody, and says we'll need it for when she goes into school. And we're not even sure if she's had her needles yet.
    There are days I don't understand that daughter of mine.
    It's as if she'd dropped off the face of the earth and couldn't care less that she has a daughter we're raising for her.
    It scares me. What if something happens to both Jack and me? Who will then take care of Emmie? What will happen to her?
     
     
     

 
     
    January 29
     
    There are some days I want to strangle the man snoring beside me. The older he gets , the more stubborn , and there's some days I just can't handle it.
    It's very rare that we fight but today was one of those days when everything and anything he said or did set me off.
    It wouldn't hurt him to put his dirty tea cup in the sink, would it? Does he have to leave it on the table where ring marks are made?
    Does he need to leave his snowy boots on my floor so that I'm the one stepping in puddles all the time?
    We have a mitt rack over the register to help dry all Emmie's wet outdoor mitts, hats and scarves. So why does he allow her to drop them on the floor and leave them there?
    We're too old to fight like newlyweds but it happens. Today was just one of those days. I don't think being caught in the middle of a snowstorm helps. Jack is under my feet too much and there's not much I can do about it. He's been trying to keep up with the shovelling but he's an old man and I don't particularly look forward to finding him face first in the snow due to a heart attack. One of our neighbours will come and dig us out eventually. Until then...
    I need to find my earplugs before