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the only tenement in the neighborhood that had an elevator, big enough for maybe two people at a time. 75 Baxter also still had the bathrooms in the hallway, but that's another story for another time.
    When Tony B and Skinny Benny finally got to 75 Baxter, they decided time was of the essence, so they ran up the stairs to Richie Ratface's 4 th floor apartment. Tony B knocked frantically and Richie Ratface's mother answered the door.
    Trying to keep his eyes off Mrs. Rambone's huge knockers, Tony B spilled the beans about his little prank.
    “My God!” Mrs. Rambone screamed. “Richie, come here this instant!”
    Richie came out of his bedroom, munching on another Ex-Lax. He had a puzzled look on his face when he spotted Skinny Vinny and Tony B.
    “What's the matter guys?” Richie Ratface said, chocolate rimmed around his mouth.
    Before they could answer, Mrs. Rambone ran to the sink, grabbed a pasta pot and filled it with warm soapy water. She poured a glass of the suds, then handed it to her son. “Drink this down in one gulp. Now!”
    Richie Ratface looked at his mother like she had three eyes. “What are you crazy? I'm not drinking no hot soapy water!”
    “Oh yes you are!” Mrs. Rambone screamed.
    Then without saying another word, she grabbed her son by the back of the head, put the glass to his lips and made him swallow the entire contents down in one gulp. Then she refilled the glass and made him do it a second time.
    Mrs. Rambone stood back and admired her handiwork. “Feel like you want to throw up?”
    Richie Ratface's face was all scrunched up. “No, but that stuff tastes horrible.”
    Time for plan B.
    Mrs. Rambone rushed to the refrigerator and took out a cartoon of eggs. She broke ten eggs, one at a time, into a pasta bowl. She whisked the eggs, then added a warm can of beer and a almost a entire bottle of hot sauce.
    She handed the bowl to her son. “Drink this down! Now! Quick! I need for you to vomit. Or you might die!”
    By this time, Tony B and Skinny Benny would rather be anyplace else in the world than in Richie Ratface's apartment at 75 Baxter Street.
    They watched as Richie Ratface knocked down the entire eggs, beer and hot sauce mixture.
    This time Richie Ratface's whole body shook. He looked pleadingly at this mother, then heaved a projectile vomit right into his mother's face.
    Not waiting to see any further results, Tony B and Skinny Benny sprinted out the apartment's front door, down the stairs and out of 75 Baxter. They dashed into Columbus Park, running like their lives depended on it, and exited Columbus Park near Park Street. They sped into Tony B's building and their legs didn't stop moving until they were safely in Tony B's apartment.
    Sally Boy was sitting at the kitchen table, with a shot and a can of beer in front of him. A bottle of Remy, half-empty, was sitting on the table. He saw the boys were sweating and near exhaustion.
    “What happened? Were the cops chasing you?” Sally Boy said.
    Tony B told his father the truth, waiting for the explosion of Mouth Etna, which is on the opposite side of Sicily from Palermo.
    But Sally Boy did not erupt. Instead he smiled, patted Tony B's shoulder and said, “That's my boy!”
    Sally Boy poured his son and Skinny Vinny a shot of Remy. Then he went to the fridge, pulled out two cans of beer, popped them open and placed one in front of each boy.
    Sally Boy raised his glass. “Salute. Cent'anni ”
    All three drained their shots and washed the booze down with beer.
    Sally Boy raised his glass again. “Here's to my son finally growing some balls.”
    Skinny Benny looked puzzled. “What does Cent'anni mean?”
    “A hundred years,” Sally Boy said. “May we all live a hundred years.”
    The two boys raised their glasses, saluted Sally Boy, then downed the booze, followed by some more beer.
    But Tony B knew it was not likely, considering his present lifestyle, he was going to live ten years longer, let alone a hundred years.
    As for